I Didn’t Starve Myself for my Wedding Day. Here’s Why.


Let’s be real.

It’s DAMN hard to be a woman this day in age.


From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we lay our heads down at night, it can seem like a constant struggle to look the best, feel the best, parent the best, work the best, workout the best, and in general, BE the very best we can be. The thing is, we all know these expectations we feel pressured to live up to are (excuse my French) batsh*t crazy. We’re also smart as hell, and we know these expectations are unrealistic, social media isn’t real, and this whole ideology of the “perfect woman” is something we can choose to denounce. So, for a moment we say “f*ck it!”, channel our inner Beyoncé, embrace our flaws, and hold our heads high. We adjust our metaphorical crowns, post some deep “girl-power” inspired quote on Instagram, and go about our day– only to be torn down the moment we see someone living what is perceived to be their best (i.e. better than yours) life, leaving us questioning ours. Sound familiar? Suddenly we aren’t so sure that we’re thin enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, in love enough, rich enough, or (sadly), lovable enough. We couldn’t possibly be HAPPY enough until these other “enoughs” are fulfilled….right?? And so the cycle of self-questioning, self-loathing, self-esteem building, self-realizing, and once again, self-analysis starts all over again.


Okay, so this is just an idea of what goes on in a typical woman’s mind every day. Now, let’s throw the word BRIDE into the mix. Talk about a whole new level of pressure to battle.


My husband Robbie (the love of my life!) and I got engaged in the summer of 2016, and this past September we tied the knot (woo hoo!). Like many women, (I’d venture to say) I dreamed about my wedding day since I was a little girl. I can still remember picking out my favorite Halloween costume from a catalog with a neighborhood friend when I was about five years old. It was a bride outfit. The catalog outfit wasn’t nearly fancy or “bridal” enough so my mom and aunt jacked me up with pretty makeup and extra accessories— complete with lipstick, a lacy skirt, a bouquet of flowers, and a fluffy veil—I felt like a princess. I couldn’t WAIT until I was a real bride one day. (Side note: looking back the whole child bride thing is a tad creepy, but I digress). For as long as I can remember, I was always mesmerized by family wedding photos, bridal magazines, and bride shows on TV (thank you TLC). But as I got older, and my relationships became more serious (i.e. marriage wasn’t so far off in the distance anymore), the idea of becoming a bride started to bring about more fear and anxiety than excitement and anticipation—and it wasn’t the whole “I’m committing to one person for the rest of my life” thing that scared me. It was the whole “OH MY GOD. Everyone is going to be looking at ME -slash- I’m going to have to fit into a wedding dress and look the best I’ve ever looked in my entire life” thing that REALLY freaked me out.


The wedding industry is a pretty precarious entity—and I’m not just talking about the price tag of anything that has the word “wedding” attached to it (seriously, it’s nauseating). I’m talking about the bridal weight loss industry. Just check out this matter of fact article in the New York Times about a bride who walked around with a feeding tube up her nose to shed some pounds before her big day. Reading this article was equally triggering and infuriating to me. Those of you who know me personally or follow me on social media are aware of my past struggles with anorexia and exercise addiction – both of which developed and flourished in college. Even though I’ve been in recovery for the better part of a decade, the mental scars and internal battles that come along with recovering from an eating disorder are something that I live with and must actively work through every single day—some days more so than others.


While I am beyond blessed to say that most areas of my life are safe from my eating disordered past, there was one major life event that I feared deep down might not make it out of anorexia’s cruel arms unscathed—and that was my wedding day.


My husband and I were together for nine years before we said “I do,” but we both knew marriage was in our future not long after we moved in together post-college. Of course at that time we were still young and figuring out our lives. The wedding would wait, but we knew it would happen someday. Over the next few years I found myself going back and forth between desperately wanting to get engaged, and desperately NOT wanting to get engaged. Keep in mind– this had 100% nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to commit myself to Robbie. This had EVERYTHING to do with me not feeling pretty enough or thin enough to earn the title “bride to be.” There were many times I’d plead with Robbie,  “Don’t you dare propose to me. I’m not ready to be engaged yet.” And sadly, he knew exactly what that meant. I didn’t feel good enough, skinny enough, beautiful enough, or worthy enough to be a bride. I wanted a fairy-tale engagement and a fairy-tale wedding. And how on earth could I have that if I didn’t like the size of my pants or the number on a scale? How could I possibly be happy on such a special day if eating disordered thoughts clogged my mind throughout the whole process? Eating disordered thoughts are just that—all-consuming regardless of the moment or the incredible world around you. So, instead of confronting it, I was willing to put off starting a future with the man I loved because of it. Pretty sad and twisted (albeit kind of embarrassing to admit after the fact), if you ask me.


Everyone else around us was getting married, and once we were on the edge of 30, I knew it would soon be my turn to walk down the aisle. On August 11th, 2016 we took off for a romantic weekend in Newport, R.I. On our way, we made a quick pit stop to visit our old stomping grounds where we first met.  It was there in beautiful Bristol, R.I. that Robbie popped the question, at our alma mater, Roger Williams University. Don’t get me wrong. This was the HAPPIEST moment of my life (aside from actually saying “I do” on September 17th!). I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and was head over heels in love. But not too long after saying yes “YES!” and kissing my honey, two nasty little thoughts consumed my mind…


The first? “Oh my god. Is there a photographer hiding in the bushes capturing this moment? Ashley suck in your tummy, move your arm, stand like this, you look so fat in this dress!” 

The second? “That’s it. I’m going to have to lose SO much weight before the wedding if I want to look good in my dream gown. I can’t handle this pressure!”


For the record, there was no photographer hiding in the bushes because my husband knew how anxious photos make me. The sad part is, in my heart of hearts I truly DID want this moment captured, but he was torn—and I know exactly why. He was trying to protect me and keep me happy on what was supposed to be a very happy day. I can’t blame him. I’m not sure how I actually would have reacted in the moment.


Excuse my French but… what the hell is THAT about?! This huge, magical life event JUST happened. The moment I’d been dreaming about forever was finally my reality and I was busy worrying about how thin I had to be for the big day? Sure I can blame my eating disordered past for the majority of this rationale, but I also blame our society and modern day media for these unrealistic expectations of the modern woman. More particularly, I blame the pressure placed on brides-to-be to look their absolute BEST (whatever that means) on their wedding day– as if this is the only day that matters for the rest of their lives, eating disordered past or not. The sad thing is, in the wedding world it’s normal to obsess over this. Disordered eating, unhealthy workout habits, and being miserable is socially acceptable in the name of wedding day bliss. These unhealthy behaviors get a free pass and are (dare I say) encouraged as “normal” as long as you’re “doing it for the wedding.” Want some proof? Let’s talk a little bit about how some of these “normal” conversations went during my engagement:


1.) A male family member asked me if I was a size “negative two” yet, because all brides starve themselves before their wedding. (Thank you for being so inappropriate!).

2.) A friend noticed my gaunt (i.e. freaking exhausted) face and slightly more defined cheekbones and excitedly remarked “Looking good girl! Someone’s on a wedding workout plan!” (In reality I had been basically living in the hospital after my mom had a serious health scare and I was not taking proper care to eat and sleep as I should have been—here I was feeling unhealthy and awful but my friend thought I looked awesome. Miserable and nutrient deprived = pretty? Confusing AF).

3.) A colleague sees me eating a salad (which I enjoyed eating on the regular even before I was labeled as a bride-to-be) after a workout and immediately makes a comment about my wedding diet discipline (update: not a diet, just eating what I love and maintaining a healthy exercise schedule but thanks for jumping to conclusions).

4.) Countless fitness friends instantaneously reach out to me about being able to help get me in shape for the big day (Okay. I’m sorry. Just because I don’t have rock hard abs means I’m not in shape RIGHT NOW?!).

5.) Don’t even get me started on the #sweatingforthewedding social media posts and all the crazy ads and emails about wedding weight loss that show up on your screen or inbox once you register on any sort of wedding website. I even found myself tagging #sweatingforthewedding a few times before I realized “Hey Ashley, your fitness routine hasn’t changed. You’re not sweating for the wedding– you’re sweating because you already like to workout!” (#prettyfitlife!)


So what did I do? Well to be honest, at first I gave in to this idea that I had to be a “perfect bride.” The first few months of my engagement felt like a roller coaster inside and not because I was stressed when it came to planning the actual day (I am an event planner after all), but once we set a date it was as if a digital countdown clock was installed inside my mind. Every single day that passed meant I was one day closer to “judgement day” (i.e. my wedding day)– the day that everyone would look me up and down, ooh and ahh, and critique how I looked on the day that I was “supposed” to look the most beautiful I ever have, and ever will. The day that everyone would remember me for (for better or worse). The day that would live in photos for the rest of my life, my children’s lives, my grandchildren’s lives…


Tick, tick, tick….



To make matter worse, I was petrified to go dress shopping– I feared I’d end up hurling myself into a pre-wedding depression. I didn’t want to try on wedding dresses, so I put it off as long as I could. When time finally caught up to me and I finally did make that first appointment, I didn’t allow myself to try on certain styles because I was afraid it would send me into a downward spiral. Even when I found that perfect dress with my amazing Mom by my side to share this special moment, I looked in the mirror and smiled like I was supposed to, but I still couldn’t help but wonder how much better it would look if I was just a little bit thinner. “Be happy Ashley, be happy.” I remember thinking to myself. “Your Mom is here. This is a special moment. WHY CAN’T YOU STOP THINKING THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?! Enjoy this moment RIGHT NOW!”


And that’s when I decided I’d had enough.


It was winter now. I’d been engaged for almost six months. I wasn’t enjoying this blissful time and I wasn’t fully present. I certainly wasn’t focusing on my husband to be. This wasn’t at all that fairy tale phase I had imagined. After years of fighting these thoughts and focusing on a healthy recovery, I was back to focusing on my waistline and worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I HATED IT. I’d worked relentlessly for years and years to conquer these thoughts and here I was letting them rule me again. Now let me be VERY clear– while my mind was consumed with negative thoughts, my actions indicated differently. I DID NOT starve myself or over exercise because I cannot and WILL NOT go down that destructive path again. I also think this was where some of my anxiety was coming about—I knew what to do and how I could do it if I really wanted to lose weight, but something inside was stopping me (RE: My healthy mind!). I knew these negative thoughts were being driven by disordered beliefs, but action or no action, I wasn’t going to have a second chance to enjoy this stage in life or relive these memories. Even if I wasn’t putting my body through physical anguish, the metal anguish was just as bad.


So, what did I do?

I rolled up my sleeves (err… took them off?) and decided to show my eating disorder AND society who was boss.


Soon after purchasing my wedding gown I had and inner revelation. “Robbie proposed to ME as I am RIGHT NOW. That means he loves ME as I am NOW. Why would I change the person he CHOSE to marry, for the day he ACTUALLY marries me? THIS is the body and the mind and the HEART he fell in love with, and this is what he wants to see walk down the aisle. So, THIS was exactly what he (and I!) deserved to get.” It might seem simple in writing, but this was a big “Ah Ha” moment for me. So what did I do next? Well, I decided to show him how much I loved and appreciated him, by showing him (and me!) once and for all how much I loved and appreciated myself—something he’s always wanted to see come true. I’d put my body through hell and back, and it was time to show it some healthy attention and love.  After all, what better wedding gift could I possibly give him as we started the next chapter of our lives?


So, exactly HOW was I going to show him I was learning to be proud of body? By doing the thing that scares me the most—having my photo taken. And I’m not talking about just any photos. I’m talking about BOUDOIR PHOTOS. Eek! Go big or go home, am I right?! Luckily, my incredible wedding photographer Nelly specializes in boudoir photography. All I had to do was bite the bullet and schedule a session, so I did (and I only chickened out and rescheduled my session once!). When I finally showed up to Nelly’s home studio on a beautiful summer Sunday morning, there was another woman ahead of me doing her photo shoot. As I sat in an adjacent room having my hair and makeup done, I could hear upbeat, dance-y music playing behind the studio door. I could also hear LOTS of laughing and Nelly’s friendly voice giving posing directions—“Tilt your head just a bit gorgeous. Right there, just like that. Beautiful!” Huh…it actually sounded FUN in there! The make-up artist told me there was a spunky middle-aged woman having her first boudoir shoot done. I thought that was pretty damn cool. If she was confident enough to do a shoot after 50, I certainly could do it too.


When I finally walked through the studio doors—bag of sexy little outfits and stilettos in hand—I may have had no idea what to expect, but I certainly knew I was ready to flaunt what I got! Sure, the first few photos I spent a decent amount of time quieting that negative little voice inside but with Nelly’s help, I was able to warm up to the camera, let loose, get a little risqué (err… A LOT risqué?), and channel my inner diva. And you know what? I had a FREAKING BLAST. AN ABSOLUTE BLAST! I didn’t want the session to end! I left that shoot feeling more confident and empowered than ever before. I was so damn proud of myself and couldn’t wait to see the surprise on Robbie’s face when opened his secret gift on our wedding day.


A few weeks later, I pulled into work a few minutes earlier than usual and decided to catch up on some personal emails. I logged in and there it was. A message from Nelly that my boudoir photos were ready. As I sat there alone in my car in the dark parking garage a small wave of panic began to rush over my body. A lump formed in my throat as I debated whether or not I wanted to open the images for review. “Maybe I’ll wait until I’m home…just in case I hate them” I thought to myself. I mean, I couldn’t sit here in my car fighting back tears, only to walk into work looking like a puffy-eyed hot mess at nine o’clock in the morning. But before I could talk myself out of it, I was clicking the link…


“SCREW IT ASHLEY. JUST OPEN IT!” I said. And I began to scroll. And you know the first thing that came to my mind was? “DAMN GIRL. YOU LOOK…HOT!”  Um…WHAT?? I actually LIKED the way I looked? I was shocked. And you know WHY I liked the way I looked? Because for the first time EVER I was owning my body for what it was—and there is NO hiding in a boudoir shoot. (EEK! Take a peek at couple of my tamer pictures below :) — don’t worry, the hubby doesn’t mind. The rest, however, are for his eyes only! ;) ).




Photo Credit: Boudoir by Nelly


For the first time EVER I saw my body as beautiful—muscles, curves and all. THIS was what my fiancé saw when he looked at me. This was what he loved. How could I not love this too? After all, this was ME.


Flash forward to my wedding day in my VERY fitted dress. Was I apprehensive about how I looked? Yes. Is that normal? Also yes. Did I enjoy dinner and cake and champagne all night long? Abso-FREAKING-lutely, YES. Was my dress a liiiiittle bit tighter by the end of the night? You betcha. But did I starve myself in the weeks leading up to my wedding and make myself a miserable, fainty, unhealthy human before the big day? NO WAY.


Maybe this shift in mindset had something to do with turning 30. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I already FELT healthy and amazing and fit and that’s all that really mattered, regardless of my dress size. Maybe it’s because I unleashed my inner Victoria’s Secret supermodel/inner-badass self and was feeling fly AF and owning what my momma gave me. Maybe it’s in part because I have a supportive husband who makes me feel beautiful and perfect as I am every damn day. Or maybe it’s just because I worked hard to actively see past the “bridal blinders” so to speak, and deep down I knew I was lovable and worthy just the way I was. Maybe it’s little bit of all those things. The important thing is that I was able to separate myself from who I “thought” I was supposed to be, and embrace who I really was (and am!) as a strong, sexy, powerful woman.


So to all my brides-to-be out there. It’s natural to feel stressed out about how you’re going to look on your big day. But just remember– this this one day does NOT define you—no matter WHAT media, society, or anyone else says. And if someone tries to tell you otherwise—forget em’! You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, and certainly not at your wedding (on the plus side you could save some dolla dolla bills when you CAX  their wedding meal– I mean, that *ish* is expensive ;) !). And if you’re already in the throes of a crash diet or crazy wedding workout regimen, or if you’re unsure whether or not your negative thoughts or habits are healthy, I encourage you to stop and take a breath, and really consider these things:


1.) Are you treating your body with LOVE and RESPECT, or are you punishing your body for not looking a certain way?

2.) Are you pushing your friends, fiancé, or loved ones away?

3.) Is your new nutrition and exercise plan getting in the way of your day to day life? Is it becoming obsessive?

4.) Are you having trouble planning your wedding until you’re “happy” with how you look? Or, have you seriously considered cancelling or postponing because you’re fearful you won’t like how you body looks on the big day?

5.) Does your wedding day bring about a sense of fear, rather than excitement? Is that fear focused on you physical appearance rather than the actual commitment of marriage?


Now don’t get me wrong– as a fitness instructor as well as a Health Coach and NASM personal trainer in training, I am ALL FOR eating well, working out and finding balance in your life if you’re doing it for the right reasons– most importantly, if you’re doing it for YOU. But if you answered “YES” to any of those questions above, something needs to be addressed. Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself before you take that fitness class, talk to that toxic friend/family member, read that latest wedding diet article, or decide to eat/skip that certain meal is this– will it make you truly HAPPY? And by happy I mean, will it enhance, uphold, or negatively affect this special moment in your life? You have the choice, just like I had the choice, to stand up (or, in my case strike a pose!) and denounce these ridiculous ideals surrounding body image– whether you’re a bride, or not.


Remember– you are already perfectly imperfect just the way you are. And honestly, what’s more beautiful than that?


P.S.– As you all know, I am clearly very passionate about eating disorder recovery, positive body image, and rejecting societal stereotypes placed on women and their bodies this day in age. I am also passionate about working with people to find a healthy food and fitness balance so they can best achieve their desired health goals. If you are struggling, know someone who is struggling, need someone to talk to, or just want to expand your #girlboss network– I am always ALWAYS here. Feel free to email me at ashleywillox@gmail.com or message me on Instagram @prettyfitlife. 



Healthfully yours,






10 Things That Happen When You’re a Perfectionist

Hello, my name is Ashley and I am a perfectionist.













Phew, okay. It feels great getting that off my chest. I know, I know, you’re all SHOCKED by the news, but seriously– let’s talk about this devil of a word for a second.

I’ve been quite open about how perfectionism played a heavy role in my past struggles with anorexia and exercise addiction, but eating disorder aside,  perfectionist like tendencies have always been present in practically every aspect of my life — and I know many of you can relate. So in the spirit of Buzzfeed and the Huffington Post (because numerical list articles are seriously my favorite articles of all time), I present to you my very first countdown article on Pretty Fit Life! A little tongue in cheek, a little earnest, and hopefully thought-provoking for my fellow perfectionists out there (you’re not alone!). The struggle is real, but don’t worry, we’ll all learn to be imperfect one day :)


1.)  Spontaneity is literally your worst nightmare:

(Cue the horror music). Routine keeps you sane—for the most part anyways. Sure, you like the idea of road-tripping cross-country with nothing but a change of underwear and a toothbrush, but in reality an alteration of plans requires advance notice and proper preparation (so you can at least look like you’re letting your hair down for once).


2.)  You don’t know how to relax:

In fact, downtime gives you straight up anxiety. You hate lazy people and fear someone will think you’re one of them if you aren’t chronically busy. You don’t believe there’s ever “nothing to do” and have an equal amount of jealousy and intrigue for people who seem to have that whole “just chillin’” thing down pat.


3.)  You set an alarm on the weekends…sometimes multiple:

Heaven forbid you sleep past 7:00am—after all, that would mean you’ve practically wasted the day away! If you haven’t worked out, checked your emails, prepped your food for the week, and run all of your errands before 10:00am, then clearly you’ve failed at life! When you do have a day off from work, you intend to make the very best of it by completely scheduling out your whole day out hour by hour—even the fun stuff.


4.)  Your new place is never “finished”:

You have dreams of your new home looking like something straight out of an HGTV special, but paint is permanent– just like the scar that will be left on your heart when you find throw pillows that match that “Bohemian Paradise” theme and you’ve already settled on “Shabby Chic.”


5.)  Meditation and yoga are the bane of your existence:

You SO want to be a yogi, goddamnit! Some of the most successful people in the world meditate and practice yoga every day yet you can’t get through two minutes without wondering when your car had it’s last oil change, and if you should consider switching your cat’s food to that expensive, organic, non-GMO ish…


6.)  January 1st is the calendar marker for another “midlife crisis”:

Yes, you have a midlife crisis–every year. You make lengthy lists of resolutions, apply to new jobs and/or Master’s programs, purchase a pricey gym membership, and shout phrases like “What am I doing with my life!?” You commit that this year will finally be the year you find yourself, and for a while you believe it– until the snow melts at least.


7.)  You fear you’re never good enough:

You question whether people like you, whether you’re good enough at your job or at your relationship, and whether you’re a success or a failure. In fact, you probably question this every day. Unless you’re being acknowledged or praised, you feel you’re being condemned. You live in fear of disappointing others—especially yourself.


8.)  You second guess everything:

You’ll never be truly satisfied with your decisions—even if they were the right call to make at the time. For you, the grass is always going to be greener on the other side and you’ll spend your whole life wondering “what if I did this instead of that…” Yes this will come up A LOT, but you also know it’s toxic to spend too much time here—dwelling in the past will prevent you from looking to the future.


9.)  You don’t know what “happy” is:

Happiness seems like a magical, sparkly, unicorn that everyone can see but you. Yes, you get happy feelings like a normal human being, but whether or not you actually are happy…. you’re not so sure. You tell yourself “I’ll be happy when I (fill in the blank).” But when one goal is attained, you just immediately set another one, and then another one—preventing you from basking in the glow of achievement for long. Long story short, happiness comes from within–it’s just going to be a little harder for you to find it.


10.) No one knows how insecure you feel:

You’re a PERFECTIONIST for crying out loud! That means you’re perfect, REMEMBER?? False. Sure, on the outside you’ve got it together. People actually admire your crazy schedules, to-do lists, daily routines, and disciplined workout regimens– but little do they know how much time and energy it takes to keep up with this perfect persona. Little do they know that deep down, we wish we were a little more human like you—because it’s starting to look pretty perfect…


So, let’s just all take a word of advice from Tay Tay herself…














 And learn to be a little more like Michelle Tanner.





Because blue-haired, Bride Wars Kate Hudson is right…





I mean…even Beyoncé isn’t perfect ;)






Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle

Part II: You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are

Credit: wordpress.com

Part II.


If you read Part I of my recovery story earlier this week, you might have been hoping for a happy ending. So was I. After all, the past was finally behind me! I had a new start and a new life! Everything had to be amazing, right? Sure the worst of it seemed to be over, but in many ways the hardest part had just begun. I had to learn how to live again.



NOTHING is easy about transitioning from nearly 70 lbs. to a normal, healthy weight.


Even after slowly putting on some weight at Renfrew, at five-foot-two and twenty years old I may have been medically stable enough to stay out of the hospital, but I certainly was not back to a safe or healthy BMI– and I looked it. I had a lot more to put back on–safely and slowly–without shocking my system in the process (it took a lot to take the weight off, so you can imagine it would take a decent amount of time to do the reverse). Even during recovery, re-feeding was still a top priority. 

Many healthy people might have the idea that the whole re-feeding process would be fun– a piece of cake even (pun not intended). I can’t tell you how many times someone told me I was “SO lucky!” because “You can eat whatever you want and not have to worry about it!” All I had to do was eat triple portions of cookies, cakes, and ice cream sundaes and BAM!  Easy recipe for weight gain.





Let me be the FIRST person to tell you this is the LAST thing you want to say to someone recovering from an eating disorder. The mere action of being able to eat three well-rounded, nutritious meals a day with a couple of snacks thrown in between is a MAJOR feat in itself– even for those who are committed to recovery. The relationship with food during early recovery is extremely fragile, and while developing a normal relationship with different types of food does happen, it takes time. But this post is not going to be about what to say and what not to say to someone recovering from an eating disorder (though I would be more than happy to share my insight if you would like more help with this touchy topic– you can email me here). It’s about the desire for normalcy and the internal struggles I faced to bring myself closer to achieving this state of being.


So. What is “NORMAL” anyway?

Well, I don’t think it exists.


When it comes to poor body image in this media-driven society, I’d argue that most women in our country are dissatisfied or have a negative connection to some part of their body. In an age of calorie-counting, juice cleanses, extreme exercise, and crazy fad diets, one could argue that every person who fixates on their body, exercises every day, and painstakingly dissects nutrition labels has some degree of distorted eating or distorted body image. Perhaps this”normal” mindset is what kept my unhealthy behaviors hidden for so long (even during recovery)– or at least that’s how how I justified them to myself and to those around me. After all, this whole “fat-talk” thing was just another normal conversation for women my age. But before we go down that road, allow me to take you back to those first few months back at school during the early stages of my recovery…

As soon as I was accepted to RWU and submitted all the appropriate documents that went along with it, I was told I had to come to campus to discuss my medical history. Since I was recovering from anorexia, and because I was still severely underweight, I had to sign some pretty harsh paperwork in the event that something happened to me. Obviously the college did not want to be held accountable for a medical emergency, or worse, the death of a student with a mental illness (anorexia nervosa has the highest death rate of any mental illness, and for the record, many universities have contractual policies like this in place–it’s pretty standard). A contract was required namely because the health issues that often transpire with anorexia go far beyond the external concerns (i.e. loss of body fat and overall size). Internally, serious bone, muscle, tissue, blood, and organ/reproductive organ damage also occurs and will only get worse if starvation continues. The heart (a muscle) becomes weak and shrinks, as does the brain’s gray matter. Bone loss and osteoporosis begins to set in after just 6 months. White blood cell count decreases, leaving the patient susceptible to other illnesses. Patients also often suffer from bradycardia (a dangerously slow resting heart beat) which I had been monitored for while inpatient. Reproductive organs shut down, and the digestive system frequently faces structural and chemical damage. And then there are the mental hurdles to battle — depression, anxiety, self-harm, risk of suicide (etc…). These are just a few of the risks on the line.

As a compromise for being allowed to attend school, I was told that I would have to regularly weigh in with a nurse at the campus health center and hit weight gain goals week to week for an extended period of time. I also had to drive to a hospital in Providence and regularly check-in with my doctor there. I was supposed to be seeing a therapist too, but this was the appointment I often found an easy excuse to avoid (I never allowed myself to really connect to a therapist during this whole ordeal. Looking back now, the lack of therapy I had is probably one of my biggest regrets).


The penalty if I lost weight, ended up in the hospital, or didn’t hit those goals?



Nonetheless, I signed away. This was my reason to get well and forge ahead– it was out of my hands. Talk about PRESSURE.

And that was that. My doctor and I had a strict meal plan in place and I was ready to follow it. This required me to drink copious amounts of high calorie nutritional shakes in addition to my meals and snacks. You can imagine how out of place that looked in a college girl’s fridge– this was NO Slimfast people. While everyone else was stumbling back from parties or having one last beer, I was cracking open a nice cold bottle of Ensure Plus before bed.

In the beginning the hardest part was definitely getting all my meals in. When you’re running to class, work, meetings, and the library, or simply just catching up with friends, the LAST thing you want to do is be bound to a meal schedule like an infant. No one else had to structure their entire day around very specific meal hours like me– it was daunting and too stressful (and embarrassing) to explain. The constant fuel was necessary however, especially since I was more mobile than ever before and burned ridiculous amounts of calories just by walking around campus everyday. Needless to say, spontaneity wasn’t in my future for a while.

The reason those in recovery need to eat SO MANY calories doesn’t just have to do with the need to gain weight– it has to do with a phenomenon known as hypermetabolism. During weight restoration, those suffering from anorexia require increasingly more calories to maintain the same rate of weight gain. Regaining lost body composition (fat, tissue, muscle) and healing organs (shrunken heart, damaged digestive system etc…) takes lots and LOTS of nutrients. This means calorie intake has to be increased — often daily–depending upon each individual case. This also ensures weight gain is actually happening and a suddenly SUPER stimulated metabolism isn’t causing weight loss (this is very common and happened to me almost every time I was admitted into the hospital). I’m talking needing to eat anywhere from 5,350-9,750 extra calories on top of a highly caloric meal plan to gain just 1 kilo, or 2.2lbs (obviously research and patient needs vary on a case by case basis). This is exactly why a person suffering from an eating disorder can’t all of a sudden just start eating whatever they want. Meal plans and check-in’s with a nutritionist are extremely important or Refeeding Sydrome (which can cause confusion, delirium, convulsions, muscle weakness and in some cases, cardiac failure) is a real risk.

At times I was afraid the pressure of classes, eating, schoolwork, eating, studying, eating, doctor appointments, eating, socializing, —-and yes– more eating, would be too much for me to take…and oftentimes, it was. But the fear of FAILING and being expelled from school was scarier and event more daunting than anything else. Besides, I finally had a taste of freedom. I was making friends, I was doing well academically, and I was having FUN. I finally had something worth living for again. 



For the FIRST TIME in a long, long time…I felt like MYSELF.



As time went on, I continued to improve and passed my doctor visits with flying colors. Once I finally got myself up to a (yes, still low) but healthy BMI, I no longer needed to check-in with the campus nurse, and I felt like that was my final step to becoming  your average college student. So with this exciting news in mind, I stopped going back to hospital for check-ins, and threw the whole therapy idea out the window. As an almost 21-year-old woman, I was an adult by law and knew no one would be calling to check up on me. I was so looking forward to sitting back and enjoying my new-found freedom. No more lies to friends about being in the the library when I was really at the doctor. No more poking and prodding of needles and blood-work. No more chalky Ensure drinks. No more weight checks to worry myself sick over. FINALLY.


But THEN my body betrayed me…and everything changed.


Hypermetabolism generally lasts anywhere from three to six months during weight restoration. After this time period, your body finally normalizes and starts to find it’s natural “set point”– the weight that your body is most happy and healthy functioning at. Inside, I was still petrified of being a “normal” weight and I would incessantly ask if my body would all of a sudden not be able to STOP gaining weight (this is something every doctor, nurse, and medical professional assured me over and over again would not happen). After the school nurse and my medical team back home deemed me a sufficient weight for maintenance (my “set” point), I was put on a weight maintenance meal plan and wouldn’t have to be back for a check-in for a few months.Things were going well for a while and I was feeling comfortable– then all of a sudden, my worst fears came true. My body started putting on weight at a rapid pace.

Think about your biggest fear in life, and then imagine yourself stuck living it every single day. For someone suffering from an eating disorder, that’s exactly what this was. In just a few short weeks I couldn’t fit into most of my clothes– it was as if it happened overnight. I was suddenly at the highest weight of my LIFE and I didn’t know why. I was doing exactly what I had been told to do and I couldn’t understand what was happening to my body–I felt out of control without actually having been out of control. I was scared, I was embarrassed, and I was ANGRY. I started doubting recovery. I HATED MYSELF.


No one had told me about this.

Was I the exception?

Was my body broken?

Was it ME??


It’s safe to say, I went into TOTAL PANIC MODE. I needed to fix this, and I wanted to fix this by myself– at this point, I didn’t trust anyone else. I was too mortified and angry to go to the doctor and I didn’t think they would understand if I did. In my mind, this was exactly what they wanted– according to “irrational Ashley” they wanted to fatten me up anyways! Then one night at our apartment, a drunk acquaintance (who at first didn’t recognize my bloated appearance) came up to me and started shaking a big box of raisins in my face– he mocked me, laughing, began throwing them at me, and kept asking if I was hungry. I looked past him– ignored it and held back tears while my roommates told him to be quiet. To this day, I thank God for giving me the strength to not attack him–because every bone in my body wanted to destroy him, not just for me, but for EVERY other person recovering from an eating disorder out there. One thing’s for sure…he better thank his lucky stars I never saw him again.

I never mentioned that painful incident or disclosed my internal struggle to my friends, or family– I didn’t express dissatisfaction with my body to anyone. I didn’t want a single soul to know how humiliated I felt. So, I  put on a happy face and got to work on my own– the dangerous way. I felt comfort in knowing that, once again, I’d be in complete control of my own body.

Up until this point, I was still on doctor ordered exercise restriction (exercise was something I abused when I was sick) but on that day, the whole exercise rule went out the window–and FAR. I cut wayyyy back on calories (but still ate just enough– I wasn’t about to go down the starvation road ever again namely because I couldn’t focus on schoolwork or class when I was starving), I started hitting the gym for hours at a time, and when that wasn’t getting me anywhere fast enough I added diet pills into the mix. If you name it, I tried it. I would use my grocery money on bottles of anything I could get my hands on. They made me feel jittery, and sick. Sometimes my heart would race so fast I’d throw up or pass out. My hair –which had finally begun to grow back after falling out in chunks earlier that year– started to thin and shed again. Sometimes my stomach hurt so bad I was convinced it was bleeding inside of me, but I didn’t care. I’d take over 15 diet pills a day. I was in deep. 

The scariest part of all, was that it was working– and people took notice. Friends and random classmates, even a professor, commented on how amazing and thin I looked. I started losing weight and got back to a comfortable number on the scale, but now I had a different problem– I was hooked on expensive, diet pills and an insanely neurotic exercise regimen. Though I was still eating enough to get by (only Ashley-approved, healthy items), I was still taking in much, much less than I should have been. My plan was giving me what I wanted, so I didn’t see anything wrong with it–or at least that was how I convinced myself it was okay. Plus, I was feeling confident and HAPPY again–or so I thought (for me, happy and skinny were essentially synonyms). As long as I wasn’t out of diet pills and as long as I could fit the gym into my school schedule, I felt at peace– I was in control– again. 

Don’t get me wrong, my last few years of college were amazing–I found my best friends and created memories to last a lifetime. I was secretly engaging in risky behaviors, but I was still functional–a far cry from the throes of my eating disorder. Though it certainly was not right (and I do not condone this) I think this is why I allowed it to go on for so long. Oftentimes, however, I think about what it would have been like to just curl up on the couch with my roommates on a weekend morning and not scamper off the gym for hours on end. I wonder what it would have felt like to just wake up on a Saturday, go to brunch with friends, and NOT thinking about starving for the whole day so I could have a drink at the party later on (hangover food has NEVER been in my vocabulary). If had that much fun at school while I was battling all of these negative thoughts and secrets, imagine how amazing it would have been if I wasn’t. Regardless, I kept all of my feelings and disordered thoughts inside. I knew if I lost more weight and explained how I really felt, people would think something was wrong– they’d tell someone. If I was caught, I feared they’d take away my control again. So instead, my behaviors were disguised as extreme self discipline. I remembered how trapped and miserable I felt while in the throes of anorexia, and this? This was NOTHING– it was manageable. I was just another normal, body conscious college girl. 


This cycle went on for years–well after graduation.


To most people I was just super disciplined. My body weight was seemingly healthy, so I had to be healthy too, right?  Then my boyfriend (who I met in college and continues to be my rock through this whole process) found my stash of diet pills– I was caught. We had just moved in together (four years ago) and I was still hiding my unhealthy habit. He was shocked, and saddened by this discovery because at this point he knew about my past struggles. I knew things had to change. That day, I stopped taking diet pills cold turkey.

I was living the city life and was working full time. After long days in the office and equally long nights spent at the gym I didn’t have much time for anything else. The fact that I wasn’t on diet pills anymore only made my workout regimens longer, harder– upwards of 21 hours a week. I felt such a disconnect from my own body and I feared what it would do next– in my mind my body was a stranger that couldn’t be trusted. The long days left me exhausted and unhappy, and I knew something still had to change…but how?

I decided my first step would be to see a nutritionist– one of the BEST in the Boston area. She specializes in eating disorders and is an all-around rock star of a lady (if you want her contact info, please shoot me an email). She helped me to see that my eating habits were still quite rigid– limited carbohydrates and fats, no real well-balanced meals– essentially I was just grazing in small amounts throughout the day. Given the amount of time I spent exercising and burning fuel, I wasn’t taking in HALF of what I should have been. She administered a basic metabolic test, which measures your basic metabolic rate, and came to the alarming discovery that my metabolic rate had slowed significantly. I don’t know why I was shocked– it was obviously a no brainer. In order to MAINTAIN my current weight, I needed to consume just 1,020 calories a day. My body was in a state of shock– it was slowing itself down and holding onto every single nutrient it came in contact with because I wasn’t feeding it enough.


The cure for a slow metabolism I was told?


Easier said than done.


I wanted to believe this was true. I wanted to free myself from this exhausting cycle. So, (slowly) I made improvements with my eating– but the exercising was way too tough to cut. As time went on, I stopped seeing my nutritionist. It became too difficult to manage with my work schedule, and honestly, I don’t think I was ready to tackle my exercise problem. I wanted to give it up on my own terms.

Exercise for me is a double-edged sword. Being able to challenge my body and push it to the limit gives me a high that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world. Feeling strong and being able to carry my body on long runs or for hours in the gym reminded me of how far I had come. At the height of my eating disorder, I couldn’t even walk up a flight of stairs. Now I was running 10 miles for fun. So how could something that made me feel so strong, be so bad for me? When it becomes impossible to live without– THAT’S WHEN. 

And that’s exactly what exercise was. I refused to admit it but exercise dictated my entire life– when I would see friends and family, when I could eat, when I would go on vacation, when I would wake up, when I would go to bed, when my boyfriend and I would have date night. If I was forced to miss one of my exercise sessions (I would exercise at least twice a day, sometimes three if I could workout during my lunch break) I would go into complete panic mode. I would become irritable, moody, and completely irrational. I was great at keeping these feelings mostly on the inside, but those closest to me certainly got the brunt of it (sorry boyfriend, sorry Mom :( ). I would never disclose my reason for the bad mood– blaming it on work, or stress, or the dishes in the sink– anything but exercise . I knew saying it out loud would sound just as silly as my behavior. But could I change?


I’ve always been a “gimme the facts” kinda girl.

I like to know A + B = C

I need to see the proof.


I suppose this is why I love reading and researching– especially anything health and fitness related (deep down rational Ashley always knew irrational Ashley needed a reason to change). So, that’s exactly what I did. And you know what I discovered? Every fact and figure that I didn’t want to admit to myself, but knew deep down was true. For example– too much cardio can actually cause you to gain weight and hinder or undo any athletic progress you’ve made. If you eat too little your metabolism will go into starvation mode, causing it to slow down and store fat. The list goes on. I may not have been suffering from anorexia anymore in the traditional sense, but I was certainly battling it’s repercussions.Thankfully I was healthy enough to know that starving myself again was not the answer (I never EVER wanted to repeat that dark road, and I won’t), but was still obsessed with trying to control my body out of fear that it would betray me again. Exercise was something I loved, and yes, exercise is wonderful and amazing and healthy for you– but even too much of a good thing can be bad.


When I started this blog a few years ago, two major shifts had taken place in my mind.


First and foremost, as a side result of my research and as a commitment to my new-found health, I decided to go vegan and follow a plant-based lifestyle. Secondly, I decided I was too damn tired of coming across as perfectly happy on the outside, while still battling negative (and often crippling and socially isolating) thoughts on the inside. On the outside, I was putting on a face of the woman I longed to be– healthy, fit, and confident in my own skin, but this persona did not match how I felt at my absolute core. The inner turmoil I felt from this discrepancy was real. Still, I suddenly became the “go-to girl” for health, fitness, and wellness tips at work, among friends, family, and random acquaintances — even people I didn’t know at all. I became a spin instructor and challenged my students to find their inner strength, listen to their body, believe anything was possible, and push themselves outside of their comfort zone. I also decided to pursue my NASM Personal Trainer Certification and really take my coaching abilities to the next level. I’d receive countless emails, Facebook messages, texts — you name it– and here I was, dishing out advice, citing research articles, and motivating these people to take control of their lives, commit to their wellness goals, and do so in a truly safe and healthy way. But the problem? I wasn’t applying enough– if any– of this advice to myself, even though I knew it to be true. I still considered myself  the exception to the rules.


I felt like a sham.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

How could I help others to change their lives and still be the healthy person I aspired to be if I wasn’t willing to apply my own principles to myself?


I desperately wanted to be at peace with my body and mind and nurture both accordingly. I wanted to set an example. The first order of business? FINALLY Tackling the monster that was taking the front seat in my life.


Up until January 2015, my typical exercise regimen looked like this:

  • Monday AM-- 15 min. stairclimber warm-up, 60 min. spin class, 30 min. stairclimber, 15 min. stationary bike
  • Monday PM — 4 mile run at lunch and/or hour of cardio at the gym (after work), 30 min. free weights/abs
  • Tuesday AM- 45 min. stairclimber, 15 min. stationary bike, 45 min. spin class, 15 min. abs
  • Tuesday PM- 4 mile run at lunch and/or 60 min.  cardio at gym (after work), 30 min. free weights/abs
  • Wednesday AM– 15 min. stairclimber warm-up, 60 min. spin, 30 min. stairclimber, 15 min. stationary bike
  • Wednesday PM — 4 mile run at lunch and/or hour of cardio at the gym (after work), 30 min. free weights/abs
  • Thursday AM – 45 min. stairclimber, 15 min. stationary bike, 45 min. spin class, 15 min. abs
  • Thursday PM- 4 mile run at lunch and/or 60 min. cardio at gym (after work), 30 min. weights/abs
  • Friday AM – 15 min. stairclimber warm-up, 60 min. spin class, hour of cardio
  • Friday PM – 4 mile run at lunch and/or 60 min. cardio at the gym (after work), 30 min. weights/abs
  • Saturday: 45 min. spin class, 45 min. cardio or Body Pump, 30 min. free weights/abs
  • Sunday: 45 min. spin class, 30 min. cardio, 30 min. free weights/abs





Seeing this written out looks insane, and that’s exactly how I started to feel. By 2014, I literally had ZERO time for myself–or anyone I cared about. I worked out hard to change my body, to make it look the way I wanted so I could finally live the life I wanted. Yet even after years of this crazy exercise regimen, literally NOTHING had changed on the outside. My body was trying to tell me something. THIS WAS NOT SUSTAINABLE. THIS WAS NO WAY TO LIVE. Then one day I started to think about having a family someday, and how I would balance motherhood with this crazy schedule (or if I would even be able to have children– I hadn’t had a period for almost 4 years). I started to think about moving — and what I would do if the gym wasn’t 2 minutes away from my home. I started to think about marriage, and what kind of wife I would be if I spent more time on exercising than building a life with my husband.  I started to think about spinning and personal training, and what kind of example I would be setting for my students and clients if I was abusing exercise myself. I was tired. I was scared. But something had to change– I couldn’t do this anymore. I was finally ready.

Suddenly, the holiday season was here and while everyone else was baking cookies, attending holiday parties, Christmas shopping, and relaxing with their loved ones, all I could think about was when I’d get in my next workout (on this schedule above, I essentially never went 12 hours without working out). I had also just started studying for the NASM-CPT exam and the deeper I got into the textbook, the more I began to realize just how skewed my views on exercise were– the facts were there. This month was a time to be happy and for the past eight Christmases, I’d felt too distracted by my body to truly enjoy the season. So, I decided to challenge myself with an experiment–and knew I couldn’t do it alone. I had to take a leap of faith and put myself in someone else’s hands. That’s when I contacted Hannah, a personal trainer at my gym.

Hannah took one look at my gym schedule and immediately chopped it down. She was ready to completely alter my gym routine, give me back precious time, and introduce me to a whole new way of working out (sounds too good to be true, right?).

Her one condition?

I had to commit to the new routine and TRUST her completely.


With my old routine, my endocrine system was out of whack, my cortisol levels were though the roof, and my body was at a standstill because of it. Fixing this meant no more double or triple sessions at the gym PLUS one day off. I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK. I could count the number of times I had taken a day off from working out this past year on ONE HAND– and it was never a choice of my own. We’re talking Arctic blasts, blizzards, tornado warnings, severe weather, and other emergencies (etc…)– these are the only reasons I’d miss a workout. Though a bit hesitant at first, deep down I trusted her. After all, what more did I have to lose?

As time went on Hannah continued to chop down my cardio regimen, sent me some interesting articles to help ease my fact-driven mind, and incorporated more strength training into my workouts. I have to admit, I was surprised by how sore I felt after our sessions (one hour on Tuesdays, and 30 minutes on Thursdays). Her routines were challenging, and the pain was a reminder that I was working hard and getting stronger (hmmm, maybe she was onto something after all I mused…). As time went on, I began to actually enjoy my Sunday rest days and free evenings. My exercise routine had gone from 21+ hours a week to right around six. This left me plenty of time to study for my NASM exam, plan my spin classes for the week, run errands, write, and even grab a lazy brunch with my boyfriend on the weekends. I could get used to this kind of productivity!

Now, don’t get me wrong…each day is still a bit of a challenge, but it is getting progressively easier. I’m a girl who likes to see results and I like to see them FAST, but I know change is gradual and patience is the key– especially since I’m breaking such an ingrained habit.


So what results have I noticed so far?


I’m about six weeks into this new workout schedule and the biggest change I’ve noticed is my mood, which has improved SIGNIFICANTLY. I’m sure more time for rest, relaxation, and finding time to do the things I love (like writing!) has helped. I am also getting STRONGER. In these past few weeks I’ve noticed my back muscles and arm muscles are starting to show, my glutes and obliques are firmer, and I’ve been able to increase the amount of weight I use for certain exercises each week (oh yea…and I can squat, bench, dead-lift, and clean ;) ). I’m also better able to execute exercises that were once way too hard and attempt more challenging variations– proof that neuromuscular connections are being made and actual muscular changes will soon follow.

I certainly don’t expect my life to ever be exactly the same as it was before my eating disorder. Sure, I still wonder what it would be like to wake up one morning and have ZERO burdening thoughts about food, exercise, or my body even though I know I must have had many mornings and days like this growing up (in fact, I can’t remember a lot of details and memories prior to my illness– especially those from UMASS where it all began. I’ve been told this is a side effect of anorexia). Yet, at the same time, I’m okay with this. I’m actually grateful for my experiences– it has helped to shape me into the woman I am today and it’s helping me to shape my dreams and goals for tomorrow.


So, what are my goals?


Right now, I have about six more weeks of personal training with Hannah to go and I can’t wait to see where they take me. For the first time in a long, long time, I have hope. A healthy relationship with exercise is the final piece of the puzzle for me, and a major step in my LONG journey through recovery. Some days are still hard but I know I will get through them, and when I do, I can’t wait to meet another woman just like me so I can tell her my story and prove to her that there is a way out.

I’ve never felt so close to optimal health before, but more importantly, I’ve never felt so true to my heart. My disordered mind and my inner soul are no longer at war– this is the REAL me…and I think I like her :) . The pain of an eating disorder doesn’t end just because your treatment does, and frankly I don’t believe there is enough information out there that addresses this part of the battle. Recovery requires constantly checking in with yourself, an most importantly, BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF. I never want anyone to experience what I have, and when I hear about little girls developing poor body image at such a young age, my heart breaks for them. My personal mission in life is to share my story and hopefully make a difference out there for someone who has struggled or is struggling with an eating disorder, negative body image, or wants to improve their overall health and wellness in general. I’m far from perfect and I’ve made my mistakes, and while it was a bumpy ride I know I’m stronger because of it. We all have our demons, but the biggest demon of all is giving up on YOU. If I can get one point across in this very long article, it’s this:


No matter what you’re struggling with, don’t give up.


After all– you’re stronger than you think you are.


Photo Credit: tumblr.com


Healthfully Yours,


Ashley Michelle







Health issues










Part I: You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are

Credit: oursoleintent.com


“You’re stronger than you think you are.”


If you’ve ever taken one of my spin classes, you already know that this is my motto. Whether I’m shouting it from the bike when we hit a round of Tabata (right after a monster hill climb of course), or gently encouraging the friend who wants to get her health and fitness back on track, it’s something I wholeheartedly believe. Each one of us is SO much stronger than we realize.


We have unlimited potential.


This idea of being “stronger than we think we are” has gotten me through some rather trying times in life. From making the conscious decision to enter eating disorder recovery to being confident enough to audition as a spin instructor and pursue my personal training certification, I had to remind myself that the possibilities were endless if I just tapped into that fire burning inside me. Everyone has had these moments in life–moments when they’ve doubted their strength or questioned their ability to succeed at something. These moments are driven by fear– namely fear of failure. In just these past few months alone, I’ve had the chance to apply this concept to my life once again in a new and scary way– both literally and figuratively.

As I started to write this post, I planned to go in a completely different direction before the words took a form of their own. All my writers out there know exactly what I mean :) . I read through the post at least seven or eight times trying to decide if it was even worth sharing such a personal account– after all, who cares about MY life story, right? Well, in the spirit of Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I decided to take a leap of faith– no fear, just truth. If I can touch one life, or motivate one person to believe they truly are stronger  than they think they are (eating disorder related not), well, my fears are unfounded and my job has been done.


And wouldn’t you know…

Here you are, reading my truths.



Once I hit 1,000 words and realized I was only halfway done with the point I was attempting to make, I realized I have two pretty distinct stories to tell about two pretty distinct times in my life. So in order to save you from reading a novel on your iPhone or tablet screens, and to best tell my story, I’ve decided to split the post into two separate parts. The next post will go up later this week. As we head into Part I, allow me to give you some context…


A little over 8 years ago I hit rock bottom.



Rock bottom lasted for so many months that I started to give up on life as I knew it. I was suffering from a debilitating eating disorder–anorexia nervosa, lost touch with amazing friends–both old and new, drifted from family and loved ones, and was forced to take sophomore year off from college. Life was so miserable and lonely and at times that I didn’t even care to see the light of the next day. I felt like a failure.

When I looked in the mirror I saw a monster and when I looked inside, I saw the same thing. I was unrecognizable to myself in every way shape and form that one could be– physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was living a vicious cycle of starvation, weight loss, over-exercising, hospital admittance, back to home, starvation, weight loss, over-exercising, hospital re-admittance (etc…)– this cycle lasted too many times to count. I was trapped.

Occasionally, it would become too much for my family or doctors to take and the cycle would be peppered with inpatient/outpatient programs that sucked me even deeper into the secret world of eating disorders. Having come from a place in my mind where I thought I was alone with this eating disordered mindset to essentially living in a test tube with other people who’s irrational weight and body thoughts were just as crazy– if not crazier– than my own, well, let’s just say that could make anyone lose their mind.

The first few tries with these programs failed miserably. I had never identified myself with have an eating disorder before. Even after the first handful of times I was admitted into the hospital, I thought my medical team was crazy for putting such a seemingly negative label on me. In my head, I was trying to be “healthy” — I was just exerting more willpower and more control, than the average human being. Even in failure, in my mind I was still winning. Yet every time I entered one of these programs, my Type-A competitive personality got the best of me. If I couldn’t win anywhere else in my life, at least I’d win at this. So, instead of getting physically and mentally better, my disease fed of of the other girls’ illnesses. At my most vulnerable I learned how to be better at anorexia.


Then something happened.

I looked around, and everything was moving but me.


After months of living this deadly game I started to realize something. My friends were back in school. They were getting internships, dating new people, making new friends, living with new roommates, going on trips, studying abroad, and filling their Facebook feeds with silly, drunken photos of their weekend escapades.  ME on the other hand? Ashley, the straight “A” student who loved to run, dance, and write– the same girl who had big dreams to tackle, thrived off of success, and was always moving towards a goal– was completely stationary.


I was holding myself back from everything I loved and everything I desired to be.

I was my own worst enemy.


And THEN I was readmitted to the hospital. At this point in the game the doctors, nurses, and CNAs knew me too well and they all knew the drill (weight check, Ensure, blood work, Ensure, EKG, Ensure, bed rest, Ensure, IV fluids, Ensure, forced feedings, Ensure, vitals, Ensure, repeat). I felt like a nuisance– a stupid, stupid, girl who couldn’t get it together. Here I was chugging water before every doctor’s appointment so I could try to “trick the scale” into believing I didn’t need to go to the ER–and for what? For a few more days of “freedom?” Living this way was NOT freedom. It was a death wish. 

I truly never wanted to become “one of those ED patients” who spent years of her life in and out of the hospital because she couldn’t do the one thing every human is expected to do to survive– EAT. I felt bad for those patients, and a part of me felt so separated from them…yet I was becoming just that. But it wasn’t always about the food. It wasn’t always about the calories or the way my hip bones protruded “just so.” It was about self-worth and the high expectations I had set for myself. The one thing I had going for me in life was also the one thing that was sabotaging my recovery– CONTROL. If I could just harness that disciplined energy and use it for something good, deep down I knew I could beat this.


I HAD no choice.

At this point it was a game of life or death.


The real saving grace of this whole destructive situation was school. I WANTED to go back to college. I WANTED to succeed. I WANTED to make a difference in the world, and most importantly, I didn’t want to disappoint my family. Heck, I was the girl who needed to be 10 steps ahead of everything for my own peace of mind, and here I was 100 steps back. I knew I had to work towards a goal and I knew I couldn’t go back to UMASS Amherst where my eating disorder began (I was scared about what people would think of me, and the memories were too difficult to face–plus, it was way too easy for me to hide and slip back into old ways at such a big school). I also knew I was on a strict timeline– those transfer applications had to be IN. When my doctor (who specialized in THE toughest love around) told me there was NO WAY I’d be able to go back to school by the fall, the fighter inside me came alive. Miss another year of school. HELL. NO.


Tell me I can’t do something and I’ll prove you wrong– take it or leave it, that’s me.


And wouldn’t you know that was the LAST TIME I was ever admitted to the hospital :) . I was ready to try this recovery thing for real. So right there in my hospital bed I wrote my essays and filled out my transfer applications and just a few days later my parents were driving me to the renowned Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders in Philadelphia. I was committing to my recovery, and on my own terms.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies from there. A few days into my stay I was celebrating my 20th birthday on bed-rest in a new home with dozens of people I didn’t know. I wasn’t allowed to use a phone or computer and I felt detached from the world around me (this is to keep you focused on recovery). Out of fear (due to lack of control) I started to revert back to my eating disorder minded ways. I’d secretly throw out or spit out any medicine I was instructed to take for the fear that it was some sneaky “weight-gaining drug” (for the record, they were just vitamins and yes, I understand how insane it seems now).  I’d pour out cups of Gatorade I was supposed to drink to balance out my electrolytes. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to silently exercise and I’d do squats during my morning shower– until I was caught for both and put back on bed rest for misbehaving (this poor behavior is a very big no no in ED treatment– especially as I was on strict exercise restriction). Clearly, I was still very sick in body and mind. I was scared. And I needed to be there for a while–and I was.

After a few weeks I started seeing young women who came to center after me leaving before I did, and once I started to feel physically stronger (no more bed rest or grounds restrictions) I realized I needed to focus on something deeper than how skinny or fat I felt or I wasn’t going to get anywhere. Now that I had the proper nourishment and brain capacity to start thinking clearly, I needed to find the root of the anorexia and heal my mind. Sounds simple, right? Hardly.

I’ll be honest, this piece is still a work in progress– even close to eight years into recovery. For me, my eating disorder wasn’t always just about being skinny. Yes, of course a large part of it was about this, but again, it all came back to wanting control. During my freshman year of college I felt pressure– mostly from myself–to be the best, look the best, and feel the best. I wanted to have it all– the brains, the beauty, and the body to match– and I feared I wasn’t good enough. In my mind, you were supposed to go to college to find yourself. You were supposed to leave that high school persona behind and MAKE something of yourself. I wanted to be extraordinary, and I wanted people to take notice–because anything less than the best just wasn’t an option in my book. And guess what? I’m still that same control-driven girl today, but in a different (healthier!) way.


I want to be successful,

I want to be happy,

I want to be healthy,

& I want to make a difference.

One day I hope I will :) .


When it came time for me to leave Renfrew a few months later, I certainly wasn’t 100% ready and the work wasn’t done (unfortunately insurance dictates this piece of the puzzle) but this time, I was on the right track. With the love and support of a few friends and family, and with my incredible Mom by my side, I was recovering beautifully enough to go back to school at Roger Williams University that fall. A fresh start with a new environment, new friends (who I’m lucky to call my BEST friends), a new, supportive boyfriend (who I’m still madly in love with :) ), and a new beginning was JUST what I needed. And while life was far from perfect (I still had to attend class, drive to the doctor once a week, and visit the campus health center for weigh-ins twice a week until I could prove I was stable), I was far from where I started.






The next 3+ years looked pretty perfect on the outside, and for some time they were. But I was so fearful of my past and so adamant about it never happening again that I often wouldn’t check in with myself to see how I was really feeling inside. I tried very hard to hide my past– I never mentioned a thing to my boyfriend until well after we both graduated, and I didn’t fill in all my roommates until we practically became sisters.


I wanted to keep moving forward and never look back– constant motion made me feel best.


The next part of my story highlights my journey through recovery from then to now. Even all these years later, I was recently shocked to realize that some of those same self-destructive behaviors were still living in me in an entirely different way and continuing to hold me back from being my best self. Be sure to check back here in a few days for the next piece to my story –Part II: You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are :) .


Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle





Hey 2014…WHERE Did You Go?? (A Pre-New Year Reflection)



Another year gone by– just like that.


I know I say this every year, but as I get older, time really does seem to fly. I mean, it feels like just yesterday I graduated from college, moved to the city, went vegan, and started this blog. Now–4 years later– so much has happened in my life (both good and bad), but I feel like I’m finally on the right path and taking the right steps to become the person I want to be.


“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” –George A. Sheehan


Isn’t it funny how much things change?


People change. Relationships change. Priorities change. New friendships are forged, old friendship are revisited,  and sadly some friendships just fizzle away. As time passes, it may be hard to remember why certain things seemed so important to us and why other things didn’t seem important enough. Regardless, no matter how much change takes place in our lives, it’s vital to recognize one little fact– when transformations take place, we’re not giving these parts of our lives up…we’re gaining something else much bigger. We’re unearthing a deeper connection to ourselves that will hopefully take us one step closer to realizing our dreams.


“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” – Anaïs Nin


This year has been quite a year for me– and my life has changed a bit since my last New Year’s blog post. On the upside, I’ve had the chance to visit some wonderful places and see some wonderful things. I traveled to California and celebrated my 27th birthday at a delicious vegan restaurant outside of L.A., I enjoyed a sun-filled, tropical, Aruba vacation with my loving boyfriend, spent time with family and friends over the summer in beautiful Cape Cod, and enjoyed the “City that Never Sleeps” in all its holiday glory. I also had the chance to see four of my closest friends walk down the aisle and marry the loves of their lives (there really is no better feeling in the world than knowing that the people who you hold so near and dear in your heart now have their hearts taken care of for the rest of their lives :) ).

On the fitness front, this year has been extra exciting. I became a Spinning instructor at my gym, Healthworks Fitness Center for Women, and I finally took the plunge and am in the middle of pursuing my NASM Personal Training Certification. For a time I was diligently studying for the GRE, as I plan to pursue my Master’s degree in a health/fitness concentration at some point in the near future, but until I can decide 100% what field I want to be in (and seeing as I have none of those pesky science requirements completed before I can actually apply to any of the programs I am interested in) this chapter of my life is still a work in progress– something I am still learning to be okay with :) . I love nothing more than expanding my knowledge and constantly learning new things, and I am lucky that my passion (health and fitness) is an ever-developing field. This means I’ll always have something new to discover and share with all of you!

On the downside, this year has also had its challenges (but we’ll keep it light for today :) ). For starters, I have not devoted half of the time and energy I want and need to devote to this blog and my other writing prospects. My full-time job has changed quite drastically and while more responsibility and new challenges are privileges I gladly welcome, I have found that after stressful day at work and long hours on the computer, my creative energy starts running pretty dry (as I write this post, I am on my first real vacation since April– and those creative juices are finally flowing again! Woo hoo!). The funny thing is, this blog makes me pretty damn happy, and once I just sit down and start writing, I feel at home and I quickly forget about any stress that may be wearing on me. In actuality, I should probably be writing MORE to de-stress after a yucky day.


One of my goals for 2015?


Credit: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk





There are so many things I want to share and so many things I want to accomplish– including trying out and reviewing a variety of fitness classes in the Boston area (so far these past few weeks I’ve conquered BODYPUMP, SoulCycle, and Turnstyle Cycle!). I also plan to tackle some other group fitness certifications. I’d love to teach a variety of classes at my club and/or other local gyms. But most important of all, I want to challenge myself.  Sure, taking on more responsibility at work, studying to become a NASM-CPT, and working towards graduate school are challenges in themselves…but I want to challenge my mind and body in a few different ways in 2015.


First, I want to push my body to be stronger and fitter than ever before– and I want to do it the healthy way.






Yes, I workout like crazy and eat healthy, but I certainly don’t get enough sleep and I certainly don’t always give my body all the recovery it deserves and needs (this personal training certification is teaching me so much already!). So this year, I vow to check-in and listen to my body and give it what it needs when it needs it a little more diligently this time around– I have a feeling the results will be surprising :) .


Second, I vow to be at peace with where I am now.





















It’s so easy to get caught in up everyone else’s lives– who’s coming, who’s going, who’s accomplishing what and when. The truth is– NONE OF THAT SHOULD MATTER! Facebook and Instagram (of which I both use and love!) make it so easy to compare yourself to the rose-colored life presented by others– to worry about who’s buying a house, who’s getting married, who’s having kids, who has a kick ass job, who’s losing weight/gaining weight, and who’s making more money. The fact of the matter is, life isn’t a race– and for someone like me who is VERY competitive…I can easily get caught up in the whole “Keeping up with the Joneses”  thing. But when I really step back and think about it– I realize what’s the rush? I’m on my way to becoming the successful, happy person I want to be and as long as I’m reaching my goals…I see no reason to want to be like anyone but myself :) . Everything is going to fall into place exactly when it’s supposed to.


Third, I want to bring a whole lot more LOVE into my life this year.






That means I’m focusing on what’s really important– relationships. Family and friends bring color to your life, and when you start to let those loving relationships fade away, the color fades too. I know it’s impossible to stay connected to everyone (and not every relationship is a positive one that deserves your time and attention) but it’s important to hold on to the people in your life who make you want to be a better person — both inside and out. I for one know I’ve (unintentionally) lost touch with some pretty spectacular and special people over the past few years. Life gets crazy, careers take precedence, people move, and time flies by. That’s why I’m making it my goal to fill my heart up with as many family and friends  (and memories!) as I can this year. (Hey friends, wanna hang?! Reach out to me! :) ).


So what’s my plan for 2015?

Sit back and enjoy the ride!





Well… maybe we won’t sit ;)


I have plenty on my plate to keep me busy, and of course I’ll keep you all informed about new developments along the way. But like I said earlier, time isn’t getting any slower and I intend to live and love every moment to the fullest. So cheers to 2015 everyone! Let’s hit our goals and make some great memories. You’re going to see (and hear!) a heck of a lot more from me this year ;) .


Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle



Hey prettyfitlifers! I LOVE to hear from you!


What do you want to see on Pretty Fit Life this year?

What kinds of articles/recipes/fitness tips?

Let me know!

The content on this blog is for YOU!



Confessions of a Health Nut: The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly



Being healthy is hard


Sometimes you just have to bend over backwards for wellness. (Credit: fitsugar.com)


And in more ways than one.


Sure, exercising every day and staying away from those pesky sweets and unhealthy eats is tough enough in itself, but you might find that following a meal and fitness plan isn’t your only worry while traveling along that path to wellness. So here’s the real truth:


Living a healthy lifestyle can be pretty darn lonely

In fact, it’s downright ISOLATING at times.


Until now, I haven’t openly discussed this dirty little secret on the blog– but I feel as though it’s a worthwhile topic to address because I know I’m not the only person who can relate to this feeling of isolation. With so many social activities out there revolving around eating and drinking, it’s a struggle to find the appropriate balance between friends, family, fun, and fitness– heck…I’m still working on it every single day. Throw an even more specific lifestyle choice into the mix– such as veganism, vegetarianism,  gluten-free, raw, Paleo, and/or alcohol-free diets (etc…)– and forget about it. Things just got way complicated for you social life.

See, as human beings it’s natural to WANT to fit in. This can help explain why we feel so much discontent when people place unwanted attention on our differences or make us feel like the odd one out in a group (for more information about the psychology of conformity, check out this link). When you make the decision to embark on a personal wellness journey, you may find yourself internalizing this even more– especially if the people around you have different lifestyle plans or agendas for themselves (just check out this post about how I first navigated going vegan).

The point is, whether good or bad all change is pretty uncomfortable at first– for both you and the people you surround yourself with. If you’re cutting back on unhealthy foods and alcohol because you want to revitalize your body and lose a few stubborn pounds, you can expect that your best friend might get a little ticked off when you suddenly don’t want to go out for “Margarita Monday” anymore. In the same vein, your mom might be pretty offended when you turn down her famous made-from-scratch red velvet cake, and your boyfriend might be bummed out that Mexican night has died because you’re trading in cheesy nachos and sour cream for a Whole Foods run and a spin class after work. No wonder you’re stressing girlfriend–talk about pressure :( !


When you reach this uncomfortable juncture, your brain gets busy trying to make everything feel alright again. I find that one of two things will typically happen in this situation:


You throw away all of your progress and hard work altogether by giving in to peer pressure for the sake of fitting in, making things “easier,” and avoiding the dreaded “guilt-trip.”


You isolate yourself completely and avoid all social situations that make you to feel judged or require you to fall off the wellness wagon.


Now, neither of these situations are ideal. In fact, they both have the potential to carry some pretty heavy consequences. First of all, you’re apt to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt when you don’t follow your healthy lifestyle plan–not to mention you may partake in some unsafe measures to negate your slip-up (like drastically restricting calories or binge exercising). Second of all, your relationships with your friends and family are bound to suffer if you keep playing the “excuses game.” This will only leave you feeling more lonely and depressed as time goes on– especially when your friends stop calling you to hang out altogether because they assume you’ll just say no (I know I’ve developed a serious case of the “FOMOs” (that’s short for “fear of missing out” for those wondering ;) ) once or twice after seeing a friend’s photo from ”Girls’ Night Out” pop up on my Facebook or Instagram feeds sans little old Ashley).


The point is, many people– myself included– struggle with this “all or nothing” attitude when it comes to health and wellness.


Some people fall into patterns that are a bit more extreme and they attempt to protect themselves from social situations and negative judgements though isolation, while others feel as though they’re in a constant cycle of self-sabotage and failure because their wellness plans keep getting interrupted or postponed. So what’s a girl to do? You want to get healthy, hot, and fit so you feel and look amazing inside and out, but you don’t want to sacrifice fun or friendships. First thing’s first–you’ve got to put things in perspective…


Here’s what’s really happening when the people around you learn about the lifestyle changes you’re making…


Your friend/boyfriend/family/coworker is feeling threatened:

1.) Put quite simply, your friends and family are afraid you’ll change too much. Remember, these are the people who love you for WHO YOU ARE NOW–vegan, Paleo, 10 lbs heavier/skinnier, fit or not–and they’re afraid you’ll go find new people like you to accommodate your new lifestyle, or you’ll suddenly think you’re better than them altogether. As long as these relationships are not toxic to your health, you and I both know that this isn’t going to happenso remind them :) !


2.) There’s also a chance that specific people in your life know deep down that they should be thinking about getting healthy and fit themselves– but perhaps they’re not ready. Your lifestyle change is only serving to reinforce what they already know they should be focusing on. As a result, these people might (unintentionally) take their inner angst out on you by putting down your new lifestyle or making you feel bad.


3.) Lastly– in many cultures people (especially family) show their affection and feel a great sense of pride through cooking food for the ones they love (Italian families, I’m looking at you!). It makes sense then, that much of the frustration your loved ones may express regarding a new dietary plan/lifestyle change could really be the internal fear that they won’t be able to take care of you or provide for you anymore. Explain to your loved ones that just because you don’t want grandma’s lasagna anym0re…it doesn’t mean you don’t LOVE your grandma! Remind them that you can bond over all sorts of things–movies, photos, lunch or dinner out at a restaurant so you can pick your own meals (etc…). And if you really need some extra ammo to prove being healthy CAN be fun and taste good after all…just whip up a batch of your favorite vegan cookies and win them over that way ;) .


Your friend/boyfriend/family/coworker doesn’t understand– and they don’t want to:

1.) You have to accept that you’re going to run into people who just don’t get it, and no matter what you do or say…they aren’t going to have a magical revelation and whip up green smoothie for breakfast or accompany you to Friday night yoga. Try not to take it personally. More importantly, don’t shove your healthy agenda down their throats– it will only make them resent this “new you” or the healthy ideas you have even more (plus–the last thing you need to hear while embarking on a new wellness journey is someone else putting down the choices that aim to make you a happier, better version of yourself).


2.) Likewise, if you sense your colleagues want to roll their eyes every time you start talking about kickboxing or cross-fit– don’t talk about kickboxing or cross-fit :) ! It sounds silly to have to censor yourself and not talk about the things you’re passionate about, but if doing so will strain your relationships sometimes (sadly) it’s best to just keep mum. Remember, you can choose your friends but you probably can’t choose your boss or your co-workers. Stick to business in the office or try engaging in conversation about different topics–after all, health and wellness is just one facet of your beautiful, wonderful self.  If someone is truly interested in your protein shake regimen or daily lunch runs, they’ll ask you! Do your health and wellness thing and let them do theirs–who knows– maybe someone will surprise you and you’ll meet a new fitness buddy that way.


3.) If you’re vegan/vegetarian (etc…) and your Dad still insists on asking whether you want a hamburger or a hot dog at the next family cookout– laugh it off or ask him to grill you up the BEST veggie burger you’ve ever had. Some people may not acknowledge that you’re eating habits are here to stay (remember, you’re making lifestyle changes, not starting a crash diet), but you can humor them by not letting it get to you. Instead of focusing on the things you CAN’T eat…focus on the things you CAN. For example, you could simply say something like this:


  • “Thanks anyways! I’m really looking forward to a tasty veggie burger, a HUGE salad, and a baked sweet potato YUM!”

               And/or change the subject…

  • “Did you SEE that unbelievable baseball game last night! GO SOX!”

4.) It can be quite challenging– not to mention frustrating– when your significant other is not on board with your healthy lifestyle changes. When the person who is supposed to love and cherish you no matter what doesn’t agree with something that’s truly important to you, it hurts! First, try explaining the reasons for your shift:


  • So you can feel more confident/sexy, so you can be a happier person for your significant other.
  • So you can love yourself as much as you love your partner.
  • So you can live a long and healthy life with your loved one 
  • (etc…)

See how he/she reacts. Perhaps you can invite your significant other to join in on this wellness journey with you– a team effort! (Plus, this could open the door to exciting date ideas that don’t involve indulgent dinners and fancy cocktails– more on this below!). If you discuss all of this and they still don’t agree with your health and wellness plan, as sad as it is, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is doing more harm than good for your health and well-being. If your relationship becomes a source of constant argument, anger, and discontent…this toxic environment can actually negatively affect your progress and your happiness. Remember: If somebody truly loves you, they love ALL OF YOU! 


5.) SAY YOU’RE HAPPY :) . The next time someone starts getting cheeky about your healthy lifestyle– stop the conversation before either one of you gets heated and just say “You know, this is really working for me and I’ve never been happier!” (end scene!). Oftentimes this is the best way to get people off your back. I mean, what kind of person will argue with that response?? (And if you find someone who does— they aren’t worth your time anyways. TRUST me).



Now you understand what’s happening with the people around you when you make a big lifestyle shift, so what’s next?

Make a (Healthy) Game Plan!


1.) Revamp Girls’ Night Out:

Evaluate your goals and situation accordingly. Can’t bear the idea of missing a GNO? Make a plan ahead of time! There’s no need to cut off your important friendships because you’re afraid of self-sabotage. If you know you are going to feel terrible about yourself after an evening of fruity cocktails and late night drunken pizza–SET BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF SO THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN! I personally love using the myfitnesspal app on my iPhone to plan out my day when I know I have an event of some sort where I could be tempted to stray away from my healthy meal plan. This way, you can allocate yourself a glass (maybe two :) ) of red wine, a healthy veggie-based dinner, and perhaps a light appetizer without throwing calorie caution to the wind.

Another tip? Make sure you are the FIRST to order! Studies have shown that when ladies dine together in a group setting, if the first person orders a healthy meal, the others are more likely to follow suit. Coincidentally, this goes the other way too! If someone orders and unhealthy meal first…the other ladies in the bunch are more likely to order in a similar fashion. While it’s certainly okay to indulge every now and then, there’s no need to go overboard and tax your body when it’s been doing so well! Perhaps you can even suggest the restaurant spot and pick a place that has a range of healthy options on the menu already.


2.) Date Night! 

When people are in love, the last thing on their minds are calories and (most ;) ) cardio. Along with all the fancy dinners, comfort food, and sharable desserts for two, morning snuggles and breakfast in bed often take precedence over working out when you’re in a relationship. Suddenly, you might find yourself getting a teensy bit soft and fluffy– just like that amazing cinnamon roll from your fav brunch spot down the street…oopsie! Again, while there’s a time and place for indulging, it’s not healthy (or sustainable) to do this all the time. Use the same strategy that you devised for your girls’ night– seek out healthier menus, come up with a meal plan accordingly, and opt for a nice post- dinner cup of coffee or tea at a cute little café instead of splitting that molten lava cake. There’s no need to write off date night altogether– just be smart about it. Remember, if you truly love someone, you should want them to be healthy and happy too. Who knows, your behavior might just rub off on your significant other and open the doors for all kinds of new and healthy date night activities! (Picnic in the park, star-gazing, daytime road trips…the list goes on!)


3.) Work Events:

Ah work events. These can be a bit tricky– especially when you have no choice but to attend. It doesn’t help that corporate dinner parties are best known for their extravagant spreads of not-so-healthy foods. And in addition to the artisan cheese platters, bacon-wrapped scallops, and greasy steak frites, you can usually count on some pretty tempting dessert trays and plenty of alcohol to boot.  Be cognizant of the fact that you may need to exercise some serious restraint with all this free food hanging around. But no need to panic my prettyfitlifers! The best way to combat unhealthy cravings is by filling up on healthy, filling, food before hitting the buffet.

My suggestion? Have an organic apple and a small garden salad squeezed with lemon prior to your event. The fiber will fill your belly right up and help you to stay away from overindulging. Once at the event, scope out the food situation and pick a couple of healthy appetizers to nosh on. If the meal is a sit-down dinner, check out the menu and try to select the smartest dinner option– you don’t need to worry about eating the whole thing. If you feel comfortable, ask the waiter/waitress to make a few changes (steam or grill veggies instead of sautéing them, ask for dressing on the side, and hold the sauce etc…). It’s also quite common for people to become anxious at fancy work events and eat mindlessly. Be aware of yourself when this happens and practice focusing your attention back to the interesting conversation and surroundings.  Grab yourself a vodka soda or a seltzer with a lemon wedge and enjoy the night.

On the other end of the spectrum, if there are really no healthy or appropriate dietary options available at your event, you may worry about being scrutinized for not eating anything at all  (after all, the rules of society say “social events are for eating!”). This is the situation I find myself in most often– and it is definitely a huge source of stress and discomfort for me to this very day. The fear of unwanted attention and judgement is enough to make me want to skip out altogether (and sometimes I do) but I know that’s the easy way out and not always the best way to handle these uncomfortable situations. The first thing to do? STOP worrying about what you think other people think!

Personally, one of my biggest concerns when it comes to my vegan diet is the fear that other people will assume I’m stuck up or high maintenance. What I wish people would see is that I’m friendly and outgoing and love to chat and make new friends when I don’t feel anxious about people passing judgement. So, let that person shine through! Get out of your comfort zone and engage in conversation, because that’s really what most events (work or social) are all about– networking and making connections! If someone calls you out, explain that you’re vegan/vegetarian/trying to be healthier and you ate before the event so you could still attend and enjoy everyone’s company. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, just say you have food allergies and they’ll most likely step off. Another trick? Fill your purse with some healthy snacks (trail mix, granola bars, apple wedges, cucumber slices, dates etc…) so you have something to munch on every now and then and plan to make yourself a nice, healthy dinner when you get home (or whip up a quick protein shake if it’s too late to prepare a full meal). 


4.) Try something new!

There are so many fun things to do with your friends, significant other, and family members that don’t involve dirty martinis and cake to the face (I know, shocking right? ;) ). This is your time to be creative! Get outside and go exploring, take a long walk, go for a run, hit the beach, get a massage, or try a trendy fitness class. Go to the movies, visit a museum, sign up for a painting/cooking/belly dancing course, test out a vegan restaurant, or host a healthy dinner party/potluck at your place. The options are endless! And don’t be afraid to pick an activity that doesn’t revolve around food!


5.) Cut toxic ties/Create new relationships:

As I mentioned before, if someone in your circle is consistently doing more harm than good, it could be time to let go. That doesn’t mean you have to cut off all communication with this person forever, but if their mere presence is triggering and stressful– that’s not a positive or happy relationship to be in. Remember, relationships are about being with the people you care about, enjoying conversation, and connecting on a deeper level no matter what you do (some of the best times I’ve ever had with friends involved sitting on a couch in our pajamas while doing absolutely nothing at all except being with each other). Forget about the people who don’t understand and instead, surround yourself with positive people who do! This is also an excellent opportunity for you to meet new people and make some new friends who share the same passions as you. Chat up that cool girl who totally rocks it in your fitness class, or reach out to some fellow bloggers or Instagrammers. Do a search online to see if your city hosts any health and fitness related conferences, networking opportunities, meet-ups, or free activities in the area. I know my city (Boston) hosts all kinds of vegan events and I’m sure yours does too :) .


Now, I hope you understand that this post is NOT meant to steer you away from a healthy lifestyle by any stretch of the means– if anything, I hope it serves as a reality check that YES, being healthy is pretty damn tough when we’re living in a not so healthy world– BUT IT’S NOT IMPOSSIBLE! 


Yes, you WILL have to try harder.

Yes, you WILL have to plan.

Yes, you WILL be uncomfortable.

And YES,  you will have to work to strike a proper balance between your healthy lifestyle and your social life.


In the end, however, you are the only one who is capable of gauging what works best for you.  And you know what? No matter what you do, if it feels right it will pay off in the end– I promise. In the meantime, if you’re looking to meet another BFF who loves kale and cardio as much as a kid loves candy…REACH OUT TO ME! I’m always looking to expand my network. And if you live in the Boston area, a lunch date to Life Alive is in order. Email me at ashley@prettyfitlife.com :) .


Keep on keeping on my prettyfitlifers!



Healthfully Yours,


Ashley Michelle



Build a Better Smoothie: A Step by Step Guide



I have a dangerous addiction…























































To smoothies, that is.


Okay…so “dangerous” might seem like too strong a word, but that’s exactly what my smoothie concoctions are…dangerously delicious :) . In fact, I’ve rarely met a smoothie I haven’t liked. I mean, it’s pretty hard to make a mistake preparing something that gets pulverized into a drinkable form– no boiling, baking, sautéing, or julienne-ing necessary. Seriously. It’s pretty much the easiest snack, meal, or treat you can (quite literally) whip up!


Pressed for time? Make a smoothie!

Hungover? Make a smoothie!

Looking to revamp your diet? MAKE A SMOOTHIE!


Okay, okay. I know what you’re thinking– I understand how booties, baubles, and a killer pair of heels can make a girl go wild, but can a smoothie really be that exciting? In one word, YES! And after taking a quick trip to the grocery store you’ll be creating healthier, tastier smoothies while increasing their nutritional value in no time at all. JUST BEWARE– not all smoothies are created equal! If you’re not careful, your “healthy” beverage can quickly become a sugar and fat trap. But don’t worry! With a little guidance you’ll be drinking your way to heath and wellness. Thankfully, I’m just the gal to show you how it’s done :) .


Step 1 : Choose your base

(Ready to have your mind completely blown? THERE AREN’T ANY SPECIAL HEALTH BENEFITS OR NUTRIENTS EXCLUSIVE TO DAIRY MILK! You can easily get vitamins, minerals, protein, and healthy fats from a variety of non-dairy milks– and YES– this includes calcium. But buyer beware– make sure the milk you purchase is fortified, and ALWAYS choose the unsweetened version to avoid excess sugar).

  • Almond milk
  • Cashew milk
  • Coconut milk
  • Coconut water (coconut water contains a decent amount of sugar– take care to cut back on high-sugar fruit like bananas, mangos, figs, tangerines, cherries, and grapes when incorporating a base with high sugar content). 
  • Hazelnut milk
  • Hemp milk
  • Oat milk
  • Soy milk
  • Water
  • Pretty Fit Note: Stay away from juice! If you are already adding fruit to your smoothie this will cause it to have wayyy too many grams of sugar and carbs (and not to mention calories)  for one drink.  

Organic nut, soy, hemp and oat milks are fantastic alternatives for those  trying to cut dairy from their diet. Personally, almond milk is my favorite smoothie base. The creamy texture and nutty taste give my smoothies just the right consistency and flavor I’m looking for. Plus, almond milk is super low in calories (only 35 to 40 calories per cup in the unsweetened brands) and contains the calcium and vitamin D my vegan body needs! With any of the milks mentioned above, be sure to buy the unsweetened versions or you could find yourself unknowingly drinking over 15 grams of sugar before you even add anything else to the blender. Yikes! I also suggest taking a look at the ingredients list and aim to avoid purchasing milk with the ingredient carrageenan– a seaweed-derived texturizer found in meat, dairy, toothpaste, processed foods (even some organic products and infant formula!) which can lead to severe gastrointestinal inflammation among other health risks. My favorite (safe!) brand is Whole Food’s 365 Plain Unsweetened or Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk. (Research regarding the side effects of this controversial additive is still new but growing. I encourage you to do some research on your own, or check out some helpful links in my Sources List below).


Step 2 : Pick your greens

(Leafy greens –full of vitamins, minerals and disease-fighting phytochemicals– are some of the healthiest foods you could ever eat. Their high water content keeps you hydrated, while their high fiber content fills you up, lowers your blood-pressure, and lowers your bad cholesterol. For more detailed information about the specific health benefits of the greens below, visit this link).

  • Collard greens (rich in calcium!)
  • Cucumber
  • Dandelion greens
  • Kale (rich in calcium!)
  • Lettuce
  • Mustard greens
  • Spinach
  • Sprouts (Sprouts can contain up to 100 times more enzymes than raw veggies and fruit– this helps your body to extract more amino acids, vitamins, minerals, and essential fats from foods you consume– so eat up!). 
  • Swiss chard
  • Turnip greens
  • Watercress


According to the latest dietary guidelines, the average person should aim to consume at least 2.5 cups of vegetables a day (Pretty Fit Note: For lettuces and other raw leafy greens, you would need to eat 2 cups to get the equivalent of 1 cup of vegetables). Now, for someone like me who eats veggies with every meal, hitting 2.5 cups doesn’t seem like much trouble, however, the majority of Americans don’t reach the recommended daily dosage–and that’s where I come in :) . Adding greens to your smoothie is the easiest and most painless way to help get proper the nutrients you need in one quick and easy swoop. I go through bags upon bags of spinach in one week alone– I find it’s the easiest to blend. Still weirded out by the green tint in your drink? Don’t worry! You’ll be adding so many other tasty ingredients to your smoothie you won’t be able to taste a thing– I promise. So don’t go holding back on me now! This is your chance to get a little nutrient crazy. Your body will thank you.


Step 3 : Get fruity!

(Fruit is full of fiber, vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and phytonutrients that ward off disease and keep you healthy! The bonus? It will satisfy your pesky sweet tooth too! The natural sugar is a better alternative to the unhealthy, refined stuff.)

  • Apples
  • Apricots
  • Bananas
  • Blackberries
  • Blueberries
  • Cantaloupe
  • Cherries
  • Guava
  • Honeydew melon
  • Kiwis
  • Lemons
  • Limes
  • Mangos
  • Oranges
  • Papaya
  • Peaches
  • Pears
  • Pineapple
  • Raspberries
  • Strawberries
  • Watermelon
Now it’s time for the fun part! The fruit you add to your smoothie really sets the flavor profile of your beverage– so don’t be shy…get inspired! If I’m craving something tasty and tropical, I’ll throw half a cup of pineapple and a few chunks of banana in the blender. If I’m feeling sluggish and run-down, I’ll make an antioxidant-rich smoothie with a cup of mixed berries and watermelon. If I want to detox my body and improve digestion, I’ll whip up my Green Superstar Smoothie using half of a pear and half of an apple. Just take care not to go overboard– fruit is full of fiber, minerals and nutrients that are good for you, but too much fruit can equal lots of extra sugar, carbs, and calories! According to the latest dietary guidelines, the average adult should aim for 2 cups of fruit in a day (if you exercise less than 30 minutes each day). I try to use no more than one cup of fruit in my smoothies since I often have fruit for a snack during the day. However, if I’m feeling extra fruity on a particular occasion (ha-ha-ha ;) ) and one cup just won’t do it, I aim to pick fruits with a low sugar content like raspberries and blackberries. Check out this helpful link for more information about the sugar content of popular fruits.


Step 4 : Mix it up!

  • All-natural extracts (almond, anise, chocolate, cinnamon, coconut, hazelnut, peppermint, vanilla).
  • Almond meal (for when you need a dose of healthy fats and extra protein!)
  • Avocado (this ingredient creates a silky, smooth, indulgent smoothie!)
  • Bee pollen (not for strict vegans– bee pollen is said to enhance energy, boost the immune system, and support the cardiovascular system).
  • Canned pumpkin (full of vitamin A, iron, and fiber)
  • Chia seeds (blend or mix these in at the very end and let you smoothie sit for 20 minutes or so– the chia seeds will expand in size and thicken your beverage right up. Plus they’ll give you a healthy dose of Omega-3 fatty acids to boot!).
  • Coconut oil (full of medium chain triglycerides that have the ability to raise HDL– good cholesterol. Coconut oil may also help to encourage weight loss).
  • Dates (a heathy alternative to sugar)
  • Flavor-infused liquid stevia (you can find this at Whole Foods or online– I love the SweetLeaf or NuNaturals brands). 
  • Flax seeds (always choose ground flax– this allows for better absorption).
  • Honey (in moderation! Not for strict vegans).
  • Maple syrup (in moderation!).
  • Molasses (in moderation!).
  • Powdered stevia
  • Powdered peanut butter (100% organic, 95% less fat, and 45% fewer calories than regular peanut butter– perfect for when you’re craving that peanut taste without all the extra fat calories!).
  • Protein powder (I stick to organic, raw protein powders like Garden of Life RAW and limit protein powders that contain soy protein isolate-- a genetically modified type of soy that resembles estrogen). 
  • Shredded carrots
  • Spirulina
  • Sweet potato (gives your smoothie great texture).
  • Tofu (preferably mori-nu silken tofu– it comes in a small cardboard box and lacks the aftertaste present in your typical water-packed tofu).
  • Vanilla beans (enhances flavor BIG TIME).
  • Yogurt (plain soy or coconut-milk based–sometimes I like to use a few tablespoons to thicken up my smoothie. Just keep an eye out for sugar content on those nutrition labels!)
  • Xanthan gum (a thickening agent that will make your smoothies more pudding-like–but BE WARNED! A little pinch goes a long way!).
Now here’s where the real danger begins. Pump up the nutritional value and play around with flavor, sweetness, and consistency by adding some unique ingredients to your smoothie (I gave a little more commentary in this section because some of these ingredients might not be as well-known to everyone). Some of my favorite healthy add-ins are almond extract, canned pumpkin, chia seeds, dates, ground flax seeds, raw protein powder, and vanilla flavored liquid stevia.


Step 5 : Get spicy!

  • Cilantro (a powerful, natural cleansing agent).
  • Cinnamon (regulates blood sugar, lowers LDL (bad) cholesterol, contains natural anti-infectious compounds).
  • Nutmeg  (aids in sleep, strengthens your immune system, acts as an anti-microbial, helps ease digestive troubles, keeps your brain sharp/may help protect it from degenerative diseases).
  • Cayenne pepper (boosts your metabolism, fights inflammation, prevents stomach ulcers, and reduces bad cholesterol levels).
  • Ginger (eases digestion, eases nausea, reduces inflammation, and protects against certain cancers such as colon and ovarian).
  • Parsley (protects against rheumatoid arthritis and is a rich source of anti-oxidants and folic acid).
  • Raw Cocoa Powder (cocoa is one of the highest polyphenol-containing foods!).
  • Turmeric (turmeric is a powerful, natural anti-inflammatory– I take turmeric pills every day).


Spices have incredible health benefits–some  have the ability to curb inflammation, detox the body, boost flavor, curb appetite, and lower blood pressure. They’re also the perfect addition to any smoothie! I adore the combination of cocoa powder and cayenne pepper (spicy chocolate is one of my FAVORITE flavors) as well as nutmeg and cinnamon (it reminds me of the cozy holiday season!). For my water-based green smoothies, I’ll throw in a handful of cilantro and parsley to help balance my body and get it back to an alkaline state. (For more information about transitioning your diet and body to an alkaline state, check out this link).


Step 6 : Ice, ice baby

This one’s easy. Toss in a few ice cubes to make your smoothie extra cold and creamy :) . I wouldn’t have mine any other way!


Step 7 : Blend it up

If you are lucky enough to own a Vitamix, you can blend any and every ingredient under the sun in one of those babies. While I don’t personally own a Vitamix (yet!) I do own a Ninja blender (which I use on the regular) and it’s pretty amazing. I’ve also used the Magic Bullet and Nutribullet in the past– they can blend most things pretty well, but I prefer to make big batches of smoothies at a time so I can prepare/freeze them for the whole work week (therefore, upgrading to a blender-style Ninja was the best option for me). Now, all that’s left for you to do is blend up all those crazy ingredients you pulled together and let the magic begin!


Step 8 : Top it off

  • Almonds
  • Chopped walnuts
  • Coconut butter
  • Coconut cream (stick a can of full-fat coconut milk in your fridge overnight, pour off the liquid that has risen to the top, whip it up in a bowl with some vanilla and stevia, and you have thick and creamy coconut whipped cream! Perfect for a dessert smoothie). 
  • Dark chocolate shavings (in moderation!).
  • Hazelnuts
  • Hemp hearts (increases satiety, prevents spikes in blood sugar, acts as an anti-inflammatory, improves digestion, and is full of amino acids, Omega-3 fatty acids, and metabolism-regulating Omega-6 fatty acids). 
  • Honey (not for strict vegans).
  • Goji berries
  • Granola (watch out for too much sugar!).
  • Macadamia nuts
  • Nut butters (almond, hazelnut, cashew, peanut butter…).
  • Peanuts
  • Pecans
  • Pistachios
  • Raisins
  • Raw cocoa nibs (a healthier, lower-sugar alternative to chocolate!).
  • Sea salt (just a pinch can create a tasty flavor profile).
  • Sesame seeds
  • Soyatoo (soy-based, canned whipped cream– you can purchase this in the milk section at Whole Foods).
  • Soy nuts
  • Spices (see above)
  • Unsweetened coconut


I just can’t deal with a naked smoothie! As soon as I pour the final product into a big tall glass, I have this incessant need to get all fancy smancy– I MUST make my smoothies pretty after they’re done (hence why my Instagram is filled with #smoothie pics ;) #sorryimnotsorry). Aside from looking lovely and tasting great, many of these toppings have a variety of health benefits that can also boost the health benefits of your beverage. Some of my favorite toppers are hemp hearts, raw cocoa nibs, and unsweetened coconut.


Well. There you have it folks! For all of you who thought smoothies were boring…THINK AGAIN! If these lists don’t get your imagination going, I don’t know what will :) . And don’t be afraid to get a little crazy— after all…that’s where the fun begins! I’d love to see all the creative combinations you come up with, so feel free to tag me on Instagram @prettyfitlife, or use the hashtag #prettyfitlifeHAPPY BLENDING!



Healthfully Yours,


Ashley Michelle




Is Carrageenan Safe?

Doubts surface aboutsafety of common food additive, carrageenan

Harvard– Vegetables and Fruits: Get Plenty Every Day

MyPlate Food Groups: Fruits 

8 Healthiest Leafy Greens 

Is Coconut Oil Healthy? 

5 Surprising Health Benefits of Hemp 

Cocoa Powder Health Benefits 

Health Benefits of Cinnamon 

Health Benefits of Cilantro 

Health Benefits of Ginger

Health Benefits of Cayenne Pepper

Health Benefits of Parsley

Health Benefits of Sprouts 

Difference Between Non-Dairy Milks

Eating Vegan in California


I think I’ve found my calling.




& traveling…


& eating some MORE!




Eating healthy, that is ;)


(New TV show perhaps? I’m looking at you Food Network!)


A couple of weeks ago, the boyfriend and I took a quick trip to California to visit some family who live right outside of Los Angeles. I had never been to the West Coast before so I was looking forward to experiencing the warm weather and the laid back Cali lifestyle à la Katy Perry, KUWTK, Real Housewives, and The Hills (I know, I know…go on–judge me!). Yet, even though I had the chance to (window) shop along Rodeo Drive, catch a glimpse of the famous Hollywood sign, and experience the fabulous-ness of Beverly Hills–for me, the most exciting part of the trip was something different…


So what was my fav thing about this little getaway?


Duh ;)


Los Angeles is known for much more than its sexy beach bodies, high-profile celebrity residents, extravagant movie sets, and TV studios. Los Angeles also happens to be one of the most vegan-friendly cities in the United States! (Other cities include Austin, TX, Portland, OR, New York City, NY, Chicago, IL, Seattle, WA, Salt Lake City, UT, Las Vegas, NV, Boulder, CO, and Richmond, VA– according to PETA). So–naturally–as soon as we booked our flights I began Googling vegan restaurants in the area.


For once I finally knew that keeping in line with my plant-based diet while traveling would be a piece of (vegan) cake!


(Oh, and spending my early mornings running around the city in nothing but shorts and a tank top in mid-January was a pretty sweet bonus too :) ).


This was perhaps the first time I’ve gone away and felt completely nourished and healthy and didn’t suffer any travel-induced tummy troubles– large in part thanks to my Kimberly Snyder probiotics (for those of you who have been wondering, I highly recommend you give them a try–they’re worth every penny). So, rather than bore you with my itinerary day by day, I thought I’d keep this post short and sweet and give you what you really want…PHOTOS! Yes, you better believe I Instagrammed my little heart out all the way through every Cali breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert and restaurant. I apologize in advance for any poor image quality– all of these photos were taken with my iPhone! And of course (as always), if you have any questions about my trips, or if you want some tips and tricks for easy vegan traveling, please comment, emailInstagram, or Tweet me! I LOVE hearing from my prettyfitlifers :) .



This became my typical Cali breakfast-- tea, fruit, and peanut butter on a rice cake (best enjoyed on an outdoor patio overlooking the water ;) ).


Sometimes I'd get a little creative... peanut butter + banana = love. TRUE LOVE.


A shot from our first vegan lunch stop! We ventured to Veggie Grill-- a vegan/vegetarian-friendly, fast-food-type chain (think Panera). I got some roasted root veggies and a side of sesame kale. The boyfriend ordered fish tacos (see background) and loved them. ee wasn't quite up for a vegan challenge yet! Don't worry...he'll get there!


The kale needed a little extra somethin' somethin'-- so I asked for a side of creamy ginger-tahini sauce. Perfect.


YES!!! WE MADE IT TO GLOW BIO! (The amazing organic café/restaurant created by the one and only--my idol-- Kimberly Snyder!). You might just catch one of her celebrity clients hanging around the café or drinking a Glowing Green Smoothie if you're lucky ;) .


Of course I couldn't decide what to order. Everything looked amazing! Finally, I settled on a veggie and quinoa teff wrap (teff is a supremely healthy, gluten-free grain with amazing health benefits-- it's full of B-vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants). I've been avoiding gluten and heavy carbohydrates for a few weeks now and I feel incredible. Still, I often crave some substantial (yet healthy) carbs and this wrap was JUST what I needed. Oh. And obviously I had to order a "Glowing Green Smoothie" on the side-- even the boyfriend drank some!


The boyfriend also tested out Kimberly's "Raw, Vegan, Taco, Gorilla Wraps" -- made with walnuts, cumin, coriander, salsa, tamari, chili powder, and collard greens. UM...YUM?? I deemed we were splitting our meals as soon as I had one bite of this incredible creation. The recipe is straight out of her Beauty Detox Foods book and you can bet I'll be replicating it myself!


After a day of walking around Long Beach later that week, the boyfriend and I needed some quick eats. We found a cozy Lebanese restaurant and ordered some appetizers to nibble on. This spicy hummus was particularly divine.


I also ordered a side of spicy roasted veggies-- I prefer dipping vegetables in hummus instead of filling up on empty pita bread calories.


This was by far my favorite visit of the trip! Native Foods Cafe is the premier chef-crafted vegan restaurant in the Cali area. It has attracted praise from publications like VegNews, USA Today and Zagat (among others!). The boyfriend and his dad were kind enough to take me here on my birthday on our last day in California.


Native Foods Cafe has been around for over 20 years! So cool. They also have an incredible selection of infused waters and iced teas-- I mixed some citrus green tea with watermelon fresca. So tasty!



It was super hot out the day we went to lunch here, so I ordered the Ensalada Azteca Salad-- a cool and refreshing bowl of crunchy veggie goodness. I enjoyed my meal so much I mayyyyy or may not have begged the cashier to open a Native Foods Cafe back in Boston :) . Someday? Please??



Here's a close-up shot of my delicious lunch. The currants and pepitas were an excellent touch!



Here's the boyfriend's amazing looking meal-- he wasn't so amazing upon first glance at the menu however (I could see a small wave of panic hit his face as he scanned through the lunch options). I don't think he quite realized that this was truly a 100% VEGAN restaurant. With words like tofu, seitan, quinoa, and "Native Chicken" in every dish, I had a feeling he was regretting the suggestion. In the end however, he was a true sport and tried something new--tempeh tacos slathered in guacamole, cilantro, fresh veggies, and a creamy chipotle sauce. And you'll NEVER believe what happened...HE LOVED IT! In fact, as soon as we got home to Boston, he ran out to buy all the ingredients and made himself tempeh tacos for dinner 3 days in a row--Vegan. Win.



My boyfriend's Dad is a little more adventurous when it comes to vegan eats (he had been here before). He enjoyed a Greek Gyro Earth Bowl over quinoa and topped it off with peppered seitan, hummus, and a lemon-garlic sauce. Yum!



Okay...so it had to be done. I mean, COME ON! How could I turn down a big ol' bowl of these babies. These sweet potato fries were delectable--a hint of cinnamon really rounded out the overall sweetness of the dish.



Shot of the interior: The café looks simple but don't let that fool you-- the food is anything but.



The Native Foods Cafe is in a unique little location-- it's centered among a little village of shops that pride themselves on offering organic/sustainable items. This little boutique is actually an organic nail salon! I didn't have time to stop for a quick mani, but I'd love to stop by the next time I visit.



This Vietnamese restaurant was right across from Native Foods Cafe. I love the natural look of the patio seating area. When I have a chance to go back to California, I want to test it out for sure.



Right around the corner from Native Foods is a funky looking wine bar and restaurant-- check out those wine bottle chandeliers! Future craft project...?



LOVE this idea! All of the restaurants in this little green community put their menus in their respective mailboxes. No more walking all over creation to find a restaurant that everyone agrees on :) .


I ADORE this-- a beautiful quote written on store-front stairs across from Native Foods Cafe.


The sun wasn't cooperating, but I love this wooden sign "road map."


For dinner every night the boys fired up the grill to cook up some meat and other manly things, but I didn't mind--this meant I had the full reign of the kitchen! My dinners in California tended to be a slightly different version of the same meal in order to keep things quick and easy. I'd start by roasting a big pan of spicy garlic veggies (peppers, onions, mushroom, zucchini, summer squash etc...) drizzled with teriyaki sauce and tossed atop a salad with a dollop of hummus instead of dressing. Add a small scoop of rice on the side and voilà! dinner is complete. For this particular meal I added some low-fat cilantro pesto and sweet and spicy chipotle sauce to the rice (a Whole Foods find!) as well as a couple of slices of avocado to the mix. The pita bread in the front of the picture (also an impromptu Whole Foods buy) was quite a treat-- it was stuffed with lentils and spices and tasted incredible with a dab of the pesto and spicy chipotle sauce on top. Sadly, they don't make it here on the East Coast-- I practically tore apart our Whole Foods trying to find it! :( .


Another version of my roasted veggie dinner salad-- topped with mango salsa and cashews.


The lighting is rather harsh here, but this is the typical scene from our nightly patio dinners. Eating outside reminds me of family summers down the Cape...I can't wait for June to get here already!


Another roasted veggie salad with spicy cilantro rice.


A close-up of my mango salsa veggie salad.


If I ever opened up a cupcake store-front, THIS is what I'd imagine it would look like. I mean, how adorable is this place?! The boyfriend and I stumbled upon the bakery (called Casey's Cupcakes) while shopping at Fashion Mall. Obviously I had to take a closer look...;)


Not vegan, but this cake is so pink and girly I could die.


CHEAT ALERT!!! Wouldn't you know...a VEGAN cupcake ;) . This is possibly the BEST vegan cupcake I have ever tasted-- and I don't even like chocolate cake! The frosting was absolutely PERFECT (boyfriend agreed). Now, if only I could have smuggled a few more on the plane ride home...


Here's a shot of the interior. Check out the colorful cupcake display!


Okay, so I promise I did manage to purchase some non-edible souvenirs to take home from California. I'm a sucker for inspirational quotes and messages, so when I saw this bracelet at an adorable shop called Laurenly Boutique I had to snatch it up. After all, every now and then we should all remind ourselves that we're beautiful-- inside and out :) .


I also picked up an infinity knuckle ring (all the kids are doing it, right??).


After a restless night of traveling home from California, my body was craving some healthy post-flying fuel. I made some almond cocoa chia pudding topped with coconut and honey roasted cashews to properly fuel up after a loooong flight and relaxing trip.



While I’ll gladly eat West Coast food any day, I’m still an East Coast girl at heart. Keep an eye out for a future post where I’ll share some of my favorite vegan hot spots around the Boston area. Who knows where my next adventure will take me… :)



Healthfully Yours,


Ashley Michelle




(Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One

It’s MY party…



And I’ll eat a vegan cupcake if I want to! 



Last weekend was my (gasp) 27th birthday.

And while the majority of the day was spent returning from a little vaca break in warm and sunny California all the way back home to cold and snowy Boston, that didn’t stop me from indulging in a tasty birthday treat (after all, scientists say dessert is perfectly acceptable on your birthday, right? ;) ). So, as soon as I got home– jet-lagged and all– I made my way to the kitchen and whipped up a sweet and fluffy frosted vanilla cupcake for one. Because, well, why not?!




Now I’ll admit it– this little birthday splurge was quite a feat for me. I’d spent many birthdays and special occasions passing up cake and ice cream because it wasn’t considered “healthy.” And come to think of it…I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d even had a bite of birthday cake (or at least a bite that didn’t make me feel guilty afterwards). Whenever the occasion arose, I’d find every reason in the book NOT to have a slice of dessert– and then immediately I’d feel selfish, snobby, and rude for not accepting the offer. The celebration was for ME after all…


That all changed as soon as I became vegan.


Suddenly I am no longer faced with that dreaded “birthday cake pressure”–namely because most people don’t know where to buy vegan desserts, how to make vegan desserts, or they don’t realize tasty vegan desserts exist in the first place. Now, on a day-to-day basis I’m typically 100% fine with this, (I take pride in my health and in what I put in my body), and when I do want dessert, much of the time I’d prefer to make a “healthier” version on my own that keeps me light on my feet as opposed to weighing me down.

From a health and fitness perspective this all sounded pretty great, but this also meant no more birthday cake at all. Right then and there I knew something about this birthday was different.

Seemingly out of the blue, this simple thought made me feel pretty sad. And as much of a health fanatic as I am, I suddenly considered it a crime NOT to have a bite of dessert on my special day. Heck, who says it has to be your birthday to have a tasty treat?? Everything in moderation people! Besides. It’s a crime in itself that I don’t have a vegan vanilla cupcake recipe on this blog yet.

Enter the (Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One.


With options for a fat-free, low-fat, or full-fat version, this quick and easy cupcake recipe (you only need 20 minutes!) is sure to please your sweet tooth and your conscience. No birthday necessary :) .



(Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One:



  • 3 tablespoons spelt flour (you can also use whole-wheat pastry flour or white flour if you’d like– however the whole-wheat option is preferred :) ).
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • slightly under 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon Earth Balance buttery spread (for a fat-free option, you can sub  applesauce or mashed banana for butter, but the cupcake will come out a bit chewier without the Earth Balance option and will have a slight banana flavor if you go that route. For a low-fat version you can do half buttery spread, half applesauce or banana).
  • 1/2 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon unsweetened almond milk
  • 2 packets of stevia (use sugar if you prefer– taste test until you are satisfied with the level of sweetness. If you use liquid sweetener, reduce the amount of milk by a teaspoon).
  • 1/2 tablespoon 100% maple syrup (optional but highly recommended)
  • Dash of almond extract (optional)


  • Preheat the oven to 340 degrees.
  • Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl until no clumps remain.
  • Spoon batter into a muffin pan sprayed with all-natural non-stick spray (I like to use coconut oil spray).
  • Cook for 15 minutes (or until the edges begin to brown slightly).
  • Allow your cupcake to cool before you pop it out of the pan and begin frosting (I know, I know. Waiting is the hardest part! I tossed the cupcake in the freezer for a few minutes to speed up the process :) ).

Frosting Ingredients:

(Please note: This recipe makes much more frosting than you probably need! But I won’t judge you if you use it all on one lonely little cupcake ;) . If you want fat-free frosting, omit the Earth Balance and reduce the milk to 2 teaspoons). 

  • 1/2 cup confectionary sugar
  • Slightly under 3 teaspoons almond milk
  • 1 and 1/2 teaspoon of Earth Balance buttery spread (room temperature– NOT melted)
  • Dash of almond extract (or vanilla if you don’t have almond)
  • Mix all the frosting together in a small bowl until smooth and creamy (add more confectionary sugar as needed if you need to thicken it up).
  • Frost and enjoy!


See? Now you can have your cupcake and eat it too :) .




Healthfully Yours,


Ashley Michelle



Back in Action! Rockin’ Your New Year’s Resolutions


I have three addictions.





Statement necklaces.







I swear — I’ll never get bored with a single one of them as long as I’m experimenting with the latest trends (YES. Smoothies can be trendy. And NO I will not be giving up any of these three things for a New Year’s resolution. You can’t make me).


Shoes and jewelry exciting? Sure! I’d bet most of you are on board with that. But smoothies? You’re probably thinking that they can be pretty boring– but I beg to differ! In fact, this past fall I did a 30-day smoothie challenge and wasn’t bored one bit! It all started when I kept Instagramming pictures of my tasty smoothie concoctions day after day. Finally, a friend asked if I was doing some sort of smoothie challenge. When I told her I wasn’t, she demanded I create  little a project out of this thing in the form of a 30-day challenge. It sounded pretty fun to me so I obliged.



I never turn down a challenge.


For 30 days I had a healthy vegan smoothie for lunch and/or dinner (sometimes breakfast too!) and experimented with different ways to keep them interesting. And you know what? I enjoyed whipping up tasty recipes so much that I extended challenge well beyond the 30 days. You may think I’m crazy, but allow me to let you in on a little secret….


If you do something over and over again, it becomes HABIT! (Promise).


Eventually that habit will become routine, and routine ultimately shapes your life. Once you truly put your mind to something and get in a groove, it becomes much easier for you to implement change into your daily life. Some people say it takes 21 days to create a new habit, but I don’t exactly believe that’s true (and neither do scientists). The reason? Everyone’s brain is different. For instance, it usually takes me three or four days before I can get into a new routine, but it may take someone else longer– and that’s okay! Change is never easy, but it does get easier over time (you know it’s the truth!).


And what better time for change than now?!

Can I get a “Happy New Year?!”




Credit: brit.co



Now that it’s officially 2014, the resolution season is upon us (over a week upon us at that!)…and you know what that means– everyone and their roommate, sister, brother, mother, boyfriend, uncle (etc…) is promising to exercise more, eat right, start a cleanse, and lose those stubborn pounds. First of all, I applaud you for wanting to take charge of your health– there’s absolutely nothing wrong with resolving to be a healthier, happier, better version of  YOU. However, moderation is key and tackling your resolutions in a healthy, mindful way will make all the difference in the world when it comes to resolution success.


While I can’t exactly be there in person cheering you on at the gym, cooking up your dinner, and reminding you to put down the pint of ice cream (I swear I would if I could!), I can help to get you on the right track. I’ll be here posting healthy recipes, ideas, and motivating tips to keep you inspired along the way–feel free to Instagram, tweet, comment, and Facebook me with your progress! I love to hear from my prettyfitlifers :) (P.S. WATCH OUT WORLD! I just got a Ninja blender over the holidays so keep an eye out for all my tips and tricks for building a better smoothie!).


And don’t worry if you haven’t set any healthy goals yet– you have the ability to start now!  But to get you started off on the right foot, I thought I’d share a few of my tried and true tips for success first:



Ashley’s Tips for Success:


1.) Be realistic:

That list you made with 20 different resolutions? Guess what. You’re biting off more than you can chew, and that’s a recipe for failure. Try to pick the resolutions that mean the most to you (stick to one to five, although even five is a bit generous) and focus all of your energy there. After all, there’s no need to overwhelm yourself before you’ve even started! Set yourself up for success, and success will be yours. REMEMBER: A New Year’s resolution doesn’t need to start the minute the clock strikes midnight on January 1st. You can start today, or you can start tomorrow or the day after that. JUST REMEMBER– YOU NEED TO START :) .


2.) Be specific:

Do you want to eat healthier? Do you want a toned, energetic body? Do you want to try a vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free diet? Rather than just saying these things, PLAN out how you are going to accomplish these goals. Your focus should be on making lifestyle changes that you can carry over from year to year rather than starting crazy crash diets and cleanses that will keep you on track for a week only to make you irritable, starving, and ready raid the cabinets for a decent snack. Instead, plan out a specific approach.  For example, start eating healthier by packing a healthy, veggie-filled lunch the night before so you aren’t tempted to hit the vending machines or unhealthy cafeteria food at work. Get a healthy, toned, energized bod by cutting out processed foods and sugar and make a point to sweat it out (almost) every day (yes, walking and yoga can count! Just crank up the intensity ladies). Try a plant-based diet, but taper off slowly. Swap regular milk for almond milk in your oatmeal or smoothies and commit to eating fish/meat only three (mayyybe four) times a week. As you get more comfortable with creating hearty, plant-based recipes, you can reduce meat consumption further (i.e. eat organic meat just 1-2 times per week, cut out cheese and dairy etc…).


3.) Write it down!

Once you know the direction you’re headed…WRITE IT DOWN! Buy yourself a pretty little notebook and create a contract for yourself based upon the plans you’ve devised above. Use the notebook to keep track of your successes, and yes, even failures. A slip up doesn’t mean you’ve blown the rest of 2014…after all, you have the whole entire year ahead of you to make up for it! Write down the mistake, accept that it happened, and move forward. Having to write down that you didn’t do something is often motivation enough to get you back on track and working even harder than before.


4.) Hold yourself accountable:

Tell people your plans! I don’t mean you have to broadcast all over Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, but if that’s your thing…go for it. Tell your best friend, your boyfriend, your roommate, you mom and let them know how motivated you are to keep up your healthy New Year’s habits. Have them to check in with you or ask you how it’s going. If those who are close to you know your plans and feel as though they are a part of them, they just might cut you some slack when you ask if you can host a healthy dinner party at your place instead of  heading out for game-day pizza and beer :) .


5.) Be positive:

I can’t stress this one enough. BE POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE! Change takes time– it isn’t going to happen overnight. But you are going to hit your goals much faster if you are positive during the process. Negative energy is crippling– believe in yourself and have faith. If you want change badly enough, you will get there. You’ve already committed…that’s the hardest part of all. Now sit back and enjoy the ride!


6.) Reward yourself with love and happy things:

Okay, this sounds a bit fluffier than it really is but hear me out. Changing your lifestyle, being healthy, and keeping New Year’s resolutions are hard! be sure to love and honor yourself throughout the process. Meditate, buy yourself a nice book, take a bubble bath, get a manicure, buy new workout clothes, get a massage, take a nap, bake a healthy treat (don’t reward yourself with naughty food!)….the option is yours! Set some goals for yourself in that little notebook of yours and do something nice for yourself each time you reach one. After all…you deserve it!


 It also doesn’t hurt to find a little inspiration :)


Credit: quotesandsayingsblog.com


Credit: herbalife mom


Credit: thethingswesay.com

Credit: Pinterest.com

Credit: yourdailyenlightenment.wordpress.com


Credit: Pinterest.com

Credit: dailypositivequotes.com

Credit: peachypalate.com

Credit: Pinterest.com








My new year’s resolution?


To get back into my blogging schedule! Life got a little hectic these past few months, but I’m back and better than ever before. I can’t wait to share my healthy posts with you all and I can’t thank you enough for all of your loyalty and support– I love each and every one of you to the moon and back. And if I can leave you with just one word of advice as you head off to conquer those resolutions for the rest of 2014, it’s this:


Stay motivated and you will amaze yourself at what you can do!




Healthfully yours,


Ashley Michelle xo