Tag Archives: prettyfitlife

I Didn’t Starve Myself for my Wedding Day. Here’s Why.


Posted by ashleymichelle

 

Let’s be real.

It’s DAMN hard to be a woman this day in age.

 

From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we lay our heads down at night, it can seem like a constant struggle to look the best, feel the best, parent the best, work the best, workout the best, and in general, BE the very best we can be. The thing is, we all know these expectations we feel pressured to live up to are (excuse my French) batsh*t crazy. We’re also smart as hell, and we know these expectations are unrealistic, social media isn’t real, and this whole ideology of the “perfect woman” is something we can choose to denounce. So, for a moment we say “f*ck it!”, channel our inner Beyoncé, embrace our flaws, and hold our heads high. We adjust our metaphorical crowns, post some deep “girl-power” inspired quote on Instagram, and go about our day– only to be torn down the moment we see someone living what is perceived to be their best (i.e. better than yours) life, leaving us questioning ours. Sound familiar? Suddenly we aren’t so sure that we’re thin enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, in love enough, rich enough, or (sadly), lovable enough. We couldn’t possibly be HAPPY enough until these other “enoughs” are fulfilled….right?? And so the cycle of self-questioning, self-loathing, self-esteem building, self-realizing, and once again, self-analysis starts all over again.

 

Okay, so this is just an idea of what goes on in a typical woman’s mind every day. Now, let’s throw the word BRIDE into the mix. Talk about a whole new level of pressure to battle.

 

My husband Robbie (the love of my life!) and I got engaged in the summer of 2016, and this past September we tied the knot (woo hoo!). Like many women, (I’d venture to say) I dreamed about my wedding day since I was a little girl. I can still remember picking out my favorite Halloween costume from a catalog with a neighborhood friend when I was about five years old. It was a bride outfit. The catalog outfit wasn’t nearly fancy or “bridal” enough so my mom and aunt jacked me up with pretty makeup and extra accessories— complete with lipstick, a lacy skirt, a bouquet of flowers, and a fluffy veil—I felt like a princess. I couldn’t WAIT until I was a real bride one day. (Side note: looking back the whole child bride thing is a tad creepy, but I digress). For as long as I can remember, I was always mesmerized by family wedding photos, bridal magazines, and bride shows on TV (thank you TLC). But as I got older, and my relationships became more serious (i.e. marriage wasn’t so far off in the distance anymore), the idea of becoming a bride started to bring about more fear and anxiety than excitement and anticipation—and it wasn’t the whole “I’m committing to one person for the rest of my life” thing that scared me. It was the whole “OH MY GOD. Everyone is going to be looking at ME -slash- I’m going to have to fit into a wedding dress and look the best I’ve ever looked in my entire life” thing that REALLY freaked me out.

 

The wedding industry is a pretty precarious entity—and I’m not just talking about the price tag of anything that has the word “wedding” attached to it (seriously, it’s nauseating). I’m talking about the bridal weight loss industry. Just check out this matter of fact article in the New York Times about a bride who walked around with a feeding tube up her nose to shed some pounds before her big day. Reading this article was equally triggering and infuriating to me. Those of you who know me personally or follow me on social media are aware of my past struggles with anorexia and exercise addiction – both of which developed and flourished in college. Even though I’ve been in recovery for the better part of a decade, the mental scars and internal battles that come along with recovering from an eating disorder are something that I live with and must actively work through every single day—some days more so than others.

 

While I am beyond blessed to say that most areas of my life are safe from my eating disordered past, there was one major life event that I feared deep down might not make it out of anorexia’s cruel arms unscathed—and that was my wedding day.

 

My husband and I were together for nine years before we said “I do,” but we both knew marriage was in our future not long after we moved in together post-college. Of course at that time we were still young and figuring out our lives. The wedding would wait, but we knew it would happen someday. Over the next few years I found myself going back and forth between desperately wanting to get engaged, and desperately NOT wanting to get engaged. Keep in mind– this had 100% nothing to do with wanting or not wanting to commit myself to Robbie. This had EVERYTHING to do with me not feeling pretty enough or thin enough to earn the title “bride to be.” There were many times I’d plead with Robbie,  “Don’t you dare propose to me. I’m not ready to be engaged yet.” And sadly, he knew exactly what that meant. I didn’t feel good enough, skinny enough, beautiful enough, or worthy enough to be a bride. I wanted a fairy-tale engagement and a fairy-tale wedding. And how on earth could I have that if I didn’t like the size of my pants or the number on a scale? How could I possibly be happy on such a special day if eating disordered thoughts clogged my mind throughout the whole process? Eating disordered thoughts are just that—all-consuming regardless of the moment or the incredible world around you. So, instead of confronting it, I was willing to put off starting a future with the man I loved because of it. Pretty sad and twisted (albeit kind of embarrassing to admit after the fact), if you ask me.

 

Everyone else around us was getting married, and once we were on the edge of 30, I knew it would soon be my turn to walk down the aisle. On August 11th, 2016 we took off for a romantic weekend in Newport, R.I. On our way, we made a quick pit stop to visit our old stomping grounds where we first met.  It was there in beautiful Bristol, R.I. that Robbie popped the question, at our alma mater, Roger Williams University. Don’t get me wrong. This was the HAPPIEST moment of my life (aside from actually saying “I do” on September 17th!). I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and was head over heels in love. But not too long after saying yes “YES!” and kissing my honey, two nasty little thoughts consumed my mind…

 

The first? “Oh my god. Is there a photographer hiding in the bushes capturing this moment? Ashley suck in your tummy, move your arm, stand like this, you look so fat in this dress!” 

The second? “That’s it. I’m going to have to lose SO much weight before the wedding if I want to look good in my dream gown. I can’t handle this pressure!”

 

For the record, there was no photographer hiding in the bushes because my husband knew how anxious photos make me. The sad part is, in my heart of hearts I truly DID want this moment captured, but he was torn—and I know exactly why. He was trying to protect me and keep me happy on what was supposed to be a very happy day. I can’t blame him. I’m not sure how I actually would have reacted in the moment.

 

Excuse my French but… what the hell is THAT about?! This huge, magical life event JUST happened. The moment I’d been dreaming about forever was finally my reality and I was busy worrying about how thin I had to be for the big day? Sure I can blame my eating disordered past for the majority of this rationale, but I also blame our society and modern day media for these unrealistic expectations of the modern woman. More particularly, I blame the pressure placed on brides-to-be to look their absolute BEST (whatever that means) on their wedding day– as if this is the only day that matters for the rest of their lives, eating disordered past or not. The sad thing is, in the wedding world it’s normal to obsess over this. Disordered eating, unhealthy workout habits, and being miserable is socially acceptable in the name of wedding day bliss. These unhealthy behaviors get a free pass and are (dare I say) encouraged as “normal” as long as you’re “doing it for the wedding.” Want some proof? Let’s talk a little bit about how some of these “normal” conversations went during my engagement:

 

1.) A male family member asked me if I was a size “negative two” yet, because all brides starve themselves before their wedding. (Thank you for being so inappropriate!).

2.) A friend noticed my gaunt (i.e. freaking exhausted) face and slightly more defined cheekbones and excitedly remarked “Looking good girl! Someone’s on a wedding workout plan!” (In reality I had been basically living in the hospital after my mom had a serious health scare and I was not taking proper care to eat and sleep as I should have been—here I was feeling unhealthy and awful but my friend thought I looked awesome. Miserable and nutrient deprived = pretty? Confusing AF).

3.) A colleague sees me eating a salad (which I enjoyed eating on the regular even before I was labeled as a bride-to-be) after a workout and immediately makes a comment about my wedding diet discipline (update: not a diet, just eating what I love and maintaining a healthy exercise schedule but thanks for jumping to conclusions).

4.) Countless fitness friends instantaneously reach out to me about being able to help get me in shape for the big day (Okay. I’m sorry. Just because I don’t have rock hard abs means I’m not in shape RIGHT NOW?!).

5.) Don’t even get me started on the #sweatingforthewedding social media posts and all the crazy ads and emails about wedding weight loss that show up on your screen or inbox once you register on any sort of wedding website. I even found myself tagging #sweatingforthewedding a few times before I realized “Hey Ashley, your fitness routine hasn’t changed. You’re not sweating for the wedding– you’re sweating because you already like to workout!” (#prettyfitlife!)

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So what did I do? Well to be honest, at first I gave in to this idea that I had to be a “perfect bride.” The first few months of my engagement felt like a roller coaster inside and not because I was stressed when it came to planning the actual day (I am an event planner after all), but once we set a date it was as if a digital countdown clock was installed inside my mind. Every single day that passed meant I was one day closer to “judgement day” (i.e. my wedding day)– the day that everyone would look me up and down, ooh and ahh, and critique how I looked on the day that I was “supposed” to look the most beautiful I ever have, and ever will. The day that everyone would remember me for (for better or worse). The day that would live in photos for the rest of my life, my children’s lives, my grandchildren’s lives…

 

Tick, tick, tick….

IT. WOULDN’T. STOP.

 

To make matter worse, I was petrified to go dress shopping– I feared I’d end up hurling myself into a pre-wedding depression. I didn’t want to try on wedding dresses, so I put it off as long as I could. When time finally caught up to me and I finally did make that first appointment, I didn’t allow myself to try on certain styles because I was afraid it would send me into a downward spiral. Even when I found that perfect dress with my amazing Mom by my side to share this special moment, I looked in the mirror and smiled like I was supposed to, but I still couldn’t help but wonder how much better it would look if I was just a little bit thinner. “Be happy Ashley, be happy.” I remember thinking to myself. “Your Mom is here. This is a special moment. WHY CAN’T YOU STOP THINKING THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?! Enjoy this moment RIGHT NOW!”

 

And that’s when I decided I’d had enough.

 

It was winter now. I’d been engaged for almost six months. I wasn’t enjoying this blissful time and I wasn’t fully present. I certainly wasn’t focusing on my husband to be. This wasn’t at all that fairy tale phase I had imagined. After years of fighting these thoughts and focusing on a healthy recovery, I was back to focusing on my waistline and worrying about what everyone else thought of me. I HATED IT. I’d worked relentlessly for years and years to conquer these thoughts and here I was letting them rule me again. Now let me be VERY clear– while my mind was consumed with negative thoughts, my actions indicated differently. I DID NOT starve myself or over exercise because I cannot and WILL NOT go down that destructive path again. I also think this was where some of my anxiety was coming about—I knew what to do and how I could do it if I really wanted to lose weight, but something inside was stopping me (RE: My healthy mind!). I knew these negative thoughts were being driven by disordered beliefs, but action or no action, I wasn’t going to have a second chance to enjoy this stage in life or relive these memories. Even if I wasn’t putting my body through physical anguish, the metal anguish was just as bad.

 

So, what did I do?

I rolled up my sleeves (err… took them off?) and decided to show my eating disorder AND society who was boss.

 

Soon after purchasing my wedding gown I had and inner revelation. “Robbie proposed to ME as I am RIGHT NOW. That means he loves ME as I am NOW. Why would I change the person he CHOSE to marry, for the day he ACTUALLY marries me? THIS is the body and the mind and the HEART he fell in love with, and this is what he wants to see walk down the aisle. So, THIS was exactly what he (and I!) deserved to get.” It might seem simple in writing, but this was a big “Ah Ha” moment for me. So what did I do next? Well, I decided to show him how much I loved and appreciated him, by showing him (and me!) once and for all how much I loved and appreciated myself—something he’s always wanted to see come true. I’d put my body through hell and back, and it was time to show it some healthy attention and love.  After all, what better wedding gift could I possibly give him as we started the next chapter of our lives?

 

So, exactly HOW was I going to show him I was learning to be proud of body? By doing the thing that scares me the most—having my photo taken. And I’m not talking about just any photos. I’m talking about BOUDOIR PHOTOS. Eek! Go big or go home, am I right?! Luckily, my incredible wedding photographer Nelly specializes in boudoir photography. All I had to do was bite the bullet and schedule a session, so I did (and I only chickened out and rescheduled my session once!). When I finally showed up to Nelly’s home studio on a beautiful summer Sunday morning, there was another woman ahead of me doing her photo shoot. As I sat in an adjacent room having my hair and makeup done, I could hear upbeat, dance-y music playing behind the studio door. I could also hear LOTS of laughing and Nelly’s friendly voice giving posing directions—“Tilt your head just a bit gorgeous. Right there, just like that. Beautiful!” Huh…it actually sounded FUN in there! The make-up artist told me there was a spunky middle-aged woman having her first boudoir shoot done. I thought that was pretty damn cool. If she was confident enough to do a shoot after 50, I certainly could do it too.

 

When I finally walked through the studio doors—bag of sexy little outfits and stilettos in hand—I may have had no idea what to expect, but I certainly knew I was ready to flaunt what I got! Sure, the first few photos I spent a decent amount of time quieting that negative little voice inside but with Nelly’s help, I was able to warm up to the camera, let loose, get a little risqué (err… A LOT risqué?), and channel my inner diva. And you know what? I had a FREAKING BLAST. AN ABSOLUTE BLAST! I didn’t want the session to end! I left that shoot feeling more confident and empowered than ever before. I was so damn proud of myself and couldn’t wait to see the surprise on Robbie’s face when opened his secret gift on our wedding day.

 

A few weeks later, I pulled into work a few minutes earlier than usual and decided to catch up on some personal emails. I logged in and there it was. A message from Nelly that my boudoir photos were ready. As I sat there alone in my car in the dark parking garage a small wave of panic began to rush over my body. A lump formed in my throat as I debated whether or not I wanted to open the images for review. “Maybe I’ll wait until I’m home…just in case I hate them” I thought to myself. I mean, I couldn’t sit here in my car fighting back tears, only to walk into work looking like a puffy-eyed hot mess at nine o’clock in the morning. But before I could talk myself out of it, I was clicking the link…

 

“SCREW IT ASHLEY. JUST OPEN IT!” I said. And I began to scroll. And you know the first thing that came to my mind was? “DAMN GIRL. YOU LOOK…HOT!”  Um…WHAT?? I actually LIKED the way I looked? I was shocked. And you know WHY I liked the way I looked? Because for the first time EVER I was owning my body for what it was—and there is NO hiding in a boudoir shoot. (EEK! Take a peek at couple of my tamer pictures below :) — don’t worry, the hubby doesn’t mind. The rest, however, are for his eyes only! ;) ).

 

 

itsjustnelly.com

Photo Credit: Boudoir by Nelly

 

For the first time EVER I saw my body as beautiful—muscles, curves and all. THIS was what my fiancé saw when he looked at me. This was what he loved. How could I not love this too? After all, this was ME.

 

Flash forward to my wedding day in my VERY fitted dress. Was I apprehensive about how I looked? Yes. Is that normal? Also yes. Did I enjoy dinner and cake and champagne all night long? Abso-FREAKING-lutely, YES. Was my dress a liiiiittle bit tighter by the end of the night? You betcha. But did I starve myself in the weeks leading up to my wedding and make myself a miserable, fainty, unhealthy human before the big day? NO WAY.

 

Maybe this shift in mindset had something to do with turning 30. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I already FELT healthy and amazing and fit and that’s all that really mattered, regardless of my dress size. Maybe it’s because I unleashed my inner Victoria’s Secret supermodel/inner-badass self and was feeling fly AF and owning what my momma gave me. Maybe it’s in part because I have a supportive husband who makes me feel beautiful and perfect as I am every damn day. Or maybe it’s just because I worked hard to actively see past the “bridal blinders” so to speak, and deep down I knew I was lovable and worthy just the way I was. Maybe it’s little bit of all those things. The important thing is that I was able to separate myself from who I “thought” I was supposed to be, and embrace who I really was (and am!) as a strong, sexy, powerful woman.

 

So to all my brides-to-be out there. It’s natural to feel stressed out about how you’re going to look on your big day. But just remember– this this one day does NOT define you—no matter WHAT media, society, or anyone else says. And if someone tries to tell you otherwise—forget em’! You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, and certainly not at your wedding (on the plus side you could save some dolla dolla bills when you CAX  their wedding meal– I mean, that *ish* is expensive ;) !). And if you’re already in the throes of a crash diet or crazy wedding workout regimen, or if you’re unsure whether or not your negative thoughts or habits are healthy, I encourage you to stop and take a breath, and really consider these things:

 

1.) Are you treating your body with LOVE and RESPECT, or are you punishing your body for not looking a certain way?

2.) Are you pushing your friends, fiancé, or loved ones away?

3.) Is your new nutrition and exercise plan getting in the way of your day to day life? Is it becoming obsessive?

4.) Are you having trouble planning your wedding until you’re “happy” with how you look? Or, have you seriously considered cancelling or postponing because you’re fearful you won’t like how you body looks on the big day?

5.) Does your wedding day bring about a sense of fear, rather than excitement? Is that fear focused on you physical appearance rather than the actual commitment of marriage?

 

Now don’t get me wrong– as a fitness instructor as well as a Health Coach and NASM personal trainer in training, I am ALL FOR eating well, working out and finding balance in your life if you’re doing it for the right reasons– most importantly, if you’re doing it for YOU. But if you answered “YES” to any of those questions above, something needs to be addressed. Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself before you take that fitness class, talk to that toxic friend/family member, read that latest wedding diet article, or decide to eat/skip that certain meal is this– will it make you truly HAPPY? And by happy I mean, will it enhance, uphold, or negatively affect this special moment in your life? You have the choice, just like I had the choice, to stand up (or, in my case strike a pose!) and denounce these ridiculous ideals surrounding body image– whether you’re a bride, or not.

 

Remember– you are already perfectly imperfect just the way you are. And honestly, what’s more beautiful than that?

 

P.S.– As you all know, I am clearly very passionate about eating disorder recovery, positive body image, and rejecting societal stereotypes placed on women and their bodies this day in age. I am also passionate about working with people to find a healthy food and fitness balance so they can best achieve their desired health goals. If you are struggling, know someone who is struggling, need someone to talk to, or just want to expand your #girlboss network– I am always ALWAYS here. Feel free to email me at ashleywillox@gmail.com or message me on Instagram @prettyfitlife. 

 

 

Healthfully yours,

Ashley

xo

 

 

 


10 Things That Happen When You’re a Perfectionist


Posted by ashleymichelle

Hello, my name is Ashley and I am a perfectionist.

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Phew, okay. It feels great getting that off my chest. I know, I know, you’re all SHOCKED by the news, but seriously– let’s talk about this devil of a word for a second.

I’ve been quite open about how perfectionism played a heavy role in my past struggles with anorexia and exercise addiction, but eating disorder aside,  perfectionist like tendencies have always been present in practically every aspect of my life — and I know many of you can relate. So in the spirit of Buzzfeed and the Huffington Post (because numerical list articles are seriously my favorite articles of all time), I present to you my very first countdown article on Pretty Fit Life! A little tongue in cheek, a little earnest, and hopefully thought-provoking for my fellow perfectionists out there (you’re not alone!). The struggle is real, but don’t worry, we’ll all learn to be imperfect one day :)

 

1.)  Spontaneity is literally your worst nightmare:

(Cue the horror music). Routine keeps you sane—for the most part anyways. Sure, you like the idea of road-tripping cross-country with nothing but a change of underwear and a toothbrush, but in reality an alteration of plans requires advance notice and proper preparation (so you can at least look like you’re letting your hair down for once).

 

2.)  You don’t know how to relax:

In fact, downtime gives you straight up anxiety. You hate lazy people and fear someone will think you’re one of them if you aren’t chronically busy. You don’t believe there’s ever “nothing to do” and have an equal amount of jealousy and intrigue for people who seem to have that whole “just chillin’” thing down pat.

 

3.)  You set an alarm on the weekends…sometimes multiple:

Heaven forbid you sleep past 7:00am—after all, that would mean you’ve practically wasted the day away! If you haven’t worked out, checked your emails, prepped your food for the week, and run all of your errands before 10:00am, then clearly you’ve failed at life! When you do have a day off from work, you intend to make the very best of it by completely scheduling out your whole day out hour by hour—even the fun stuff.

 

4.)  Your new place is never “finished”:

You have dreams of your new home looking like something straight out of an HGTV special, but paint is permanent– just like the scar that will be left on your heart when you find throw pillows that match that “Bohemian Paradise” theme and you’ve already settled on “Shabby Chic.”

 

5.)  Meditation and yoga are the bane of your existence:

You SO want to be a yogi, goddamnit! Some of the most successful people in the world meditate and practice yoga every day yet you can’t get through two minutes without wondering when your car had it’s last oil change, and if you should consider switching your cat’s food to that expensive, organic, non-GMO ish…

 

6.)  January 1st is the calendar marker for another “midlife crisis”:

Yes, you have a midlife crisis–every year. You make lengthy lists of resolutions, apply to new jobs and/or Master’s programs, purchase a pricey gym membership, and shout phrases like “What am I doing with my life!?” You commit that this year will finally be the year you find yourself, and for a while you believe it– until the snow melts at least.

 

7.)  You fear you’re never good enough:

You question whether people like you, whether you’re good enough at your job or at your relationship, and whether you’re a success or a failure. In fact, you probably question this every day. Unless you’re being acknowledged or praised, you feel you’re being condemned. You live in fear of disappointing others—especially yourself.

 

8.)  You second guess everything:

You’ll never be truly satisfied with your decisions—even if they were the right call to make at the time. For you, the grass is always going to be greener on the other side and you’ll spend your whole life wondering “what if I did this instead of that…” Yes this will come up A LOT, but you also know it’s toxic to spend too much time here—dwelling in the past will prevent you from looking to the future.

 

9.)  You don’t know what “happy” is:

Happiness seems like a magical, sparkly, unicorn that everyone can see but you. Yes, you get happy feelings like a normal human being, but whether or not you actually are happy…. you’re not so sure. You tell yourself “I’ll be happy when I (fill in the blank).” But when one goal is attained, you just immediately set another one, and then another one—preventing you from basking in the glow of achievement for long. Long story short, happiness comes from within–it’s just going to be a little harder for you to find it.

 

10.) No one knows how insecure you feel:

You’re a PERFECTIONIST for crying out loud! That means you’re perfect, REMEMBER?? False. Sure, on the outside you’ve got it together. People actually admire your crazy schedules, to-do lists, daily routines, and disciplined workout regimens– but little do they know how much time and energy it takes to keep up with this perfect persona. Little do they know that deep down, we wish we were a little more human like you—because it’s starting to look pretty perfect…

 

So, let’s just all take a word of advice from Tay Tay herself…

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 And learn to be a little more like Michelle Tanner.

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Because blue-haired, Bride Wars Kate Hudson is right…

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I mean…even Beyoncé isn’t perfect ;)

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Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle


Part I: You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are


Posted by ashleymichelle

Credit: oursoleintent.com

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“You’re stronger than you think you are.”

 

If you’ve ever taken one of my spin classes, you already know that this is my motto. Whether I’m shouting it from the bike when we hit a round of Tabata (right after a monster hill climb of course), or gently encouraging the friend who wants to get her health and fitness back on track, it’s something I wholeheartedly believe. Each one of us is SO much stronger than we realize.

 

We have unlimited potential.

 

This idea of being “stronger than we think we are” has gotten me through some rather trying times in life. From making the conscious decision to enter eating disorder recovery to being confident enough to audition as a spin instructor and pursue my personal training certification, I had to remind myself that the possibilities were endless if I just tapped into that fire burning inside me. Everyone has had these moments in life–moments when they’ve doubted their strength or questioned their ability to succeed at something. These moments are driven by fear– namely fear of failure. In just these past few months alone, I’ve had the chance to apply this concept to my life once again in a new and scary way– both literally and figuratively.

As I started to write this post, I planned to go in a completely different direction before the words took a form of their own. All my writers out there know exactly what I mean :) . I read through the post at least seven or eight times trying to decide if it was even worth sharing such a personal account– after all, who cares about MY life story, right? Well, in the spirit of Eating Disorder Awareness Week, I decided to take a leap of faith– no fear, just truth. If I can touch one life, or motivate one person to believe they truly are stronger  than they think they are (eating disorder related not), well, my fears are unfounded and my job has been done.

 

And wouldn’t you know…

Here you are, reading my truths.

THANK YOU.

 

Once I hit 1,000 words and realized I was only halfway done with the point I was attempting to make, I realized I have two pretty distinct stories to tell about two pretty distinct times in my life. So in order to save you from reading a novel on your iPhone or tablet screens, and to best tell my story, I’ve decided to split the post into two separate parts. The next post will go up later this week. As we head into Part I, allow me to give you some context…

 

A little over 8 years ago I hit rock bottom.

HARD.

 

Rock bottom lasted for so many months that I started to give up on life as I knew it. I was suffering from a debilitating eating disorder–anorexia nervosa, lost touch with amazing friends–both old and new, drifted from family and loved ones, and was forced to take sophomore year off from college. Life was so miserable and lonely and at times that I didn’t even care to see the light of the next day. I felt like a failure.

When I looked in the mirror I saw a monster and when I looked inside, I saw the same thing. I was unrecognizable to myself in every way shape and form that one could be– physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was living a vicious cycle of starvation, weight loss, over-exercising, hospital admittance, back to home, starvation, weight loss, over-exercising, hospital re-admittance (etc…)– this cycle lasted too many times to count. I was trapped.

Occasionally, it would become too much for my family or doctors to take and the cycle would be peppered with inpatient/outpatient programs that sucked me even deeper into the secret world of eating disorders. Having come from a place in my mind where I thought I was alone with this eating disordered mindset to essentially living in a test tube with other people who’s irrational weight and body thoughts were just as crazy– if not crazier– than my own, well, let’s just say that could make anyone lose their mind.

The first few tries with these programs failed miserably. I had never identified myself with have an eating disorder before. Even after the first handful of times I was admitted into the hospital, I thought my medical team was crazy for putting such a seemingly negative label on me. In my head, I was trying to be “healthy” — I was just exerting more willpower and more control, than the average human being. Even in failure, in my mind I was still winning. Yet every time I entered one of these programs, my Type-A competitive personality got the best of me. If I couldn’t win anywhere else in my life, at least I’d win at this. So, instead of getting physically and mentally better, my disease fed of of the other girls’ illnesses. At my most vulnerable I learned how to be better at anorexia.

 

Then something happened.

I looked around, and everything was moving but me.

 

After months of living this deadly game I started to realize something. My friends were back in school. They were getting internships, dating new people, making new friends, living with new roommates, going on trips, studying abroad, and filling their Facebook feeds with silly, drunken photos of their weekend escapades.  ME on the other hand? Ashley, the straight “A” student who loved to run, dance, and write– the same girl who had big dreams to tackle, thrived off of success, and was always moving towards a goal– was completely stationary.

 

I was holding myself back from everything I loved and everything I desired to be.

I was my own worst enemy.

 

And THEN I was readmitted to the hospital. At this point in the game the doctors, nurses, and CNAs knew me too well and they all knew the drill (weight check, Ensure, blood work, Ensure, EKG, Ensure, bed rest, Ensure, IV fluids, Ensure, forced feedings, Ensure, vitals, Ensure, repeat). I felt like a nuisance– a stupid, stupid, girl who couldn’t get it together. Here I was chugging water before every doctor’s appointment so I could try to “trick the scale” into believing I didn’t need to go to the ER–and for what? For a few more days of “freedom?” Living this way was NOT freedom. It was a death wish. 

I truly never wanted to become “one of those ED patients” who spent years of her life in and out of the hospital because she couldn’t do the one thing every human is expected to do to survive– EAT. I felt bad for those patients, and a part of me felt so separated from them…yet I was becoming just that. But it wasn’t always about the food. It wasn’t always about the calories or the way my hip bones protruded “just so.” It was about self-worth and the high expectations I had set for myself. The one thing I had going for me in life was also the one thing that was sabotaging my recovery– CONTROL. If I could just harness that disciplined energy and use it for something good, deep down I knew I could beat this.

 

I HAD no choice.

At this point it was a game of life or death.

 

The real saving grace of this whole destructive situation was school. I WANTED to go back to college. I WANTED to succeed. I WANTED to make a difference in the world, and most importantly, I didn’t want to disappoint my family. Heck, I was the girl who needed to be 10 steps ahead of everything for my own peace of mind, and here I was 100 steps back. I knew I had to work towards a goal and I knew I couldn’t go back to UMASS Amherst where my eating disorder began (I was scared about what people would think of me, and the memories were too difficult to face–plus, it was way too easy for me to hide and slip back into old ways at such a big school). I also knew I was on a strict timeline– those transfer applications had to be IN. When my doctor (who specialized in THE toughest love around) told me there was NO WAY I’d be able to go back to school by the fall, the fighter inside me came alive. Miss another year of school. HELL. NO.

 

Tell me I can’t do something and I’ll prove you wrong– take it or leave it, that’s me.

 

And wouldn’t you know that was the LAST TIME I was ever admitted to the hospital :) . I was ready to try this recovery thing for real. So right there in my hospital bed I wrote my essays and filled out my transfer applications and just a few days later my parents were driving me to the renowned Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders in Philadelphia. I was committing to my recovery, and on my own terms.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t all rainbows and butterflies from there. A few days into my stay I was celebrating my 20th birthday on bed-rest in a new home with dozens of people I didn’t know. I wasn’t allowed to use a phone or computer and I felt detached from the world around me (this is to keep you focused on recovery). Out of fear (due to lack of control) I started to revert back to my eating disorder minded ways. I’d secretly throw out or spit out any medicine I was instructed to take for the fear that it was some sneaky “weight-gaining drug” (for the record, they were just vitamins and yes, I understand how insane it seems now).  I’d pour out cups of Gatorade I was supposed to drink to balance out my electrolytes. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to silently exercise and I’d do squats during my morning shower– until I was caught for both and put back on bed rest for misbehaving (this poor behavior is a very big no no in ED treatment– especially as I was on strict exercise restriction). Clearly, I was still very sick in body and mind. I was scared. And I needed to be there for a while–and I was.

After a few weeks I started seeing young women who came to center after me leaving before I did, and once I started to feel physically stronger (no more bed rest or grounds restrictions) I realized I needed to focus on something deeper than how skinny or fat I felt or I wasn’t going to get anywhere. Now that I had the proper nourishment and brain capacity to start thinking clearly, I needed to find the root of the anorexia and heal my mind. Sounds simple, right? Hardly.

I’ll be honest, this piece is still a work in progress– even close to eight years into recovery. For me, my eating disorder wasn’t always just about being skinny. Yes, of course a large part of it was about this, but again, it all came back to wanting control. During my freshman year of college I felt pressure– mostly from myself–to be the best, look the best, and feel the best. I wanted to have it all– the brains, the beauty, and the body to match– and I feared I wasn’t good enough. In my mind, you were supposed to go to college to find yourself. You were supposed to leave that high school persona behind and MAKE something of yourself. I wanted to be extraordinary, and I wanted people to take notice–because anything less than the best just wasn’t an option in my book. And guess what? I’m still that same control-driven girl today, but in a different (healthier!) way.

 

I want to be successful,

I want to be happy,

I want to be healthy,

& I want to make a difference.

One day I hope I will :) .

 

When it came time for me to leave Renfrew a few months later, I certainly wasn’t 100% ready and the work wasn’t done (unfortunately insurance dictates this piece of the puzzle) but this time, I was on the right track. With the love and support of a few friends and family, and with my incredible Mom by my side, I was recovering beautifully enough to go back to school at Roger Williams University that fall. A fresh start with a new environment, new friends (who I’m lucky to call my BEST friends), a new, supportive boyfriend (who I’m still madly in love with :) ), and a new beginning was JUST what I needed. And while life was far from perfect (I still had to attend class, drive to the doctor once a week, and visit the campus health center for weigh-ins twice a week until I could prove I was stable), I was far from where I started.

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Credit:www.positiwitty.com

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The next 3+ years looked pretty perfect on the outside, and for some time they were. But I was so fearful of my past and so adamant about it never happening again that I often wouldn’t check in with myself to see how I was really feeling inside. I tried very hard to hide my past– I never mentioned a thing to my boyfriend until well after we both graduated, and I didn’t fill in all my roommates until we practically became sisters.

 

I wanted to keep moving forward and never look back– constant motion made me feel best.

 

The next part of my story highlights my journey through recovery from then to now. Even all these years later, I was recently shocked to realize that some of those same self-destructive behaviors were still living in me in an entirely different way and continuing to hold me back from being my best self. Be sure to check back here in a few days for the next piece to my story –Part II: You’re Stronger Than You Think You Are :) .

 

Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle

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Hey 2014…WHERE Did You Go?? (A Pre-New Year Reflection)


Posted by ashleymichelle

 

WOW.

Another year gone by– just like that.

 

I know I say this every year, but as I get older, time really does seem to fly. I mean, it feels like just yesterday I graduated from college, moved to the city, went vegan, and started this blog. Now–4 years later– so much has happened in my life (both good and bad), but I feel like I’m finally on the right path and taking the right steps to become the person I want to be.

 

“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” –George A. Sheehan

 

Isn’t it funny how much things change?

 

People change. Relationships change. Priorities change. New friendships are forged, old friendship are revisited,  and sadly some friendships just fizzle away. As time passes, it may be hard to remember why certain things seemed so important to us and why other things didn’t seem important enough. Regardless, no matter how much change takes place in our lives, it’s vital to recognize one little fact– when transformations take place, we’re not giving these parts of our lives up…we’re gaining something else much bigger. We’re unearthing a deeper connection to ourselves that will hopefully take us one step closer to realizing our dreams.

 

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” – Anaïs Nin

 

This year has been quite a year for me– and my life has changed a bit since my last New Year’s blog post. On the upside, I’ve had the chance to visit some wonderful places and see some wonderful things. I traveled to California and celebrated my 27th birthday at a delicious vegan restaurant outside of L.A., I enjoyed a sun-filled, tropical, Aruba vacation with my loving boyfriend, spent time with family and friends over the summer in beautiful Cape Cod, and enjoyed the “City that Never Sleeps” in all its holiday glory. I also had the chance to see four of my closest friends walk down the aisle and marry the loves of their lives (there really is no better feeling in the world than knowing that the people who you hold so near and dear in your heart now have their hearts taken care of for the rest of their lives :) ).

On the fitness front, this year has been extra exciting. I became a Spinning instructor at my gym, Healthworks Fitness Center for Women, and I finally took the plunge and am in the middle of pursuing my NASM Personal Training Certification. For a time I was diligently studying for the GRE, as I plan to pursue my Master’s degree in a health/fitness concentration at some point in the near future, but until I can decide 100% what field I want to be in (and seeing as I have none of those pesky science requirements completed before I can actually apply to any of the programs I am interested in) this chapter of my life is still a work in progress– something I am still learning to be okay with :) . I love nothing more than expanding my knowledge and constantly learning new things, and I am lucky that my passion (health and fitness) is an ever-developing field. This means I’ll always have something new to discover and share with all of you!

On the downside, this year has also had its challenges (but we’ll keep it light for today :) ). For starters, I have not devoted half of the time and energy I want and need to devote to this blog and my other writing prospects. My full-time job has changed quite drastically and while more responsibility and new challenges are privileges I gladly welcome, I have found that after stressful day at work and long hours on the computer, my creative energy starts running pretty dry (as I write this post, I am on my first real vacation since April– and those creative juices are finally flowing again! Woo hoo!). The funny thing is, this blog makes me pretty damn happy, and once I just sit down and start writing, I feel at home and I quickly forget about any stress that may be wearing on me. In actuality, I should probably be writing MORE to de-stress after a yucky day.

 

One of my goals for 2015?

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Credit: http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk

 

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KEEP WRITING BABY!

 

There are so many things I want to share and so many things I want to accomplish– including trying out and reviewing a variety of fitness classes in the Boston area (so far these past few weeks I’ve conquered BODYPUMP, SoulCycle, and Turnstyle Cycle!). I also plan to tackle some other group fitness certifications. I’d love to teach a variety of classes at my club and/or other local gyms. But most important of all, I want to challenge myself.  Sure, taking on more responsibility at work, studying to become a NASM-CPT, and working towards graduate school are challenges in themselves…but I want to challenge my mind and body in a few different ways in 2015.

 

First, I want to push my body to be stronger and fitter than ever before– and I want to do it the healthy way.

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Yes, I workout like crazy and eat healthy, but I certainly don’t get enough sleep and I certainly don’t always give my body all the recovery it deserves and needs (this personal training certification is teaching me so much already!). So this year, I vow to check-in and listen to my body and give it what it needs when it needs it a little more diligently this time around– I have a feeling the results will be surprising :) .

 

Second, I vow to be at peace with where I am now.

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It’s so easy to get caught in up everyone else’s lives– who’s coming, who’s going, who’s accomplishing what and when. The truth is– NONE OF THAT SHOULD MATTER! Facebook and Instagram (of which I both use and love!) make it so easy to compare yourself to the rose-colored life presented by others– to worry about who’s buying a house, who’s getting married, who’s having kids, who has a kick ass job, who’s losing weight/gaining weight, and who’s making more money. The fact of the matter is, life isn’t a race– and for someone like me who is VERY competitive…I can easily get caught up in the whole “Keeping up with the Joneses”  thing. But when I really step back and think about it– I realize what’s the rush? I’m on my way to becoming the successful, happy person I want to be and as long as I’m reaching my goals…I see no reason to want to be like anyone but myself :) . Everything is going to fall into place exactly when it’s supposed to.

 

Third, I want to bring a whole lot more LOVE into my life this year.

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That means I’m focusing on what’s really important– relationships. Family and friends bring color to your life, and when you start to let those loving relationships fade away, the color fades too. I know it’s impossible to stay connected to everyone (and not every relationship is a positive one that deserves your time and attention) but it’s important to hold on to the people in your life who make you want to be a better person — both inside and out. I for one know I’ve (unintentionally) lost touch with some pretty spectacular and special people over the past few years. Life gets crazy, careers take precedence, people move, and time flies by. That’s why I’m making it my goal to fill my heart up with as many family and friends  (and memories!) as I can this year. (Hey friends, wanna hang?! Reach out to me! :) ).

 

So what’s my plan for 2015?

Sit back and enjoy the ride!

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Well… maybe we won’t sit ;)

 

I have plenty on my plate to keep me busy, and of course I’ll keep you all informed about new developments along the way. But like I said earlier, time isn’t getting any slower and I intend to live and love every moment to the fullest. So cheers to 2015 everyone! Let’s hit our goals and make some great memories. You’re going to see (and hear!) a heck of a lot more from me this year ;) .

 

Healthfully Yours,

Ashley Michelle

 

 

Hey prettyfitlifers! I LOVE to hear from you!

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What do you want to see on Pretty Fit Life this year?

What kinds of articles/recipes/fitness tips?

Let me know!

The content on this blog is for YOU!

 

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Eating Vegan in California


Posted by ashleymichelle

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I think I’ve found my calling.

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Eating…

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& traveling…

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& eating some MORE!

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Eating healthy, that is ;)

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(New TV show perhaps? I’m looking at you Food Network!)

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A couple of weeks ago, the boyfriend and I took a quick trip to California to visit some family who live right outside of Los Angeles. I had never been to the West Coast before so I was looking forward to experiencing the warm weather and the laid back Cali lifestyle à la Katy Perry, KUWTK, Real Housewives, and The Hills (I know, I know…go on–judge me!). Yet, even though I had the chance to (window) shop along Rodeo Drive, catch a glimpse of the famous Hollywood sign, and experience the fabulous-ness of Beverly Hills–for me, the most exciting part of the trip was something different…

 

So what was my fav thing about this little getaway?

THE FOOD OF COURSE!

Duh ;)

 

Los Angeles is known for much more than its sexy beach bodies, high-profile celebrity residents, extravagant movie sets, and TV studios. Los Angeles also happens to be one of the most vegan-friendly cities in the United States! (Other cities include Austin, TX, Portland, OR, New York City, NY, Chicago, IL, Seattle, WA, Salt Lake City, UT, Las Vegas, NV, Boulder, CO, and Richmond, VA– according to PETA). So–naturally–as soon as we booked our flights I began Googling vegan restaurants in the area.

 

For once I finally knew that keeping in line with my plant-based diet while traveling would be a piece of (vegan) cake!

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(Oh, and spending my early mornings running around the city in nothing but shorts and a tank top in mid-January was a pretty sweet bonus too :) ).

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This was perhaps the first time I’ve gone away and felt completely nourished and healthy and didn’t suffer any travel-induced tummy troubles– large in part thanks to my Kimberly Snyder probiotics (for those of you who have been wondering, I highly recommend you give them a try–they’re worth every penny). So, rather than bore you with my itinerary day by day, I thought I’d keep this post short and sweet and give you what you really want…PHOTOS! Yes, you better believe I Instagrammed my little heart out all the way through every Cali breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert and restaurant. I apologize in advance for any poor image quality– all of these photos were taken with my iPhone! And of course (as always), if you have any questions about my trips, or if you want some tips and tricks for easy vegan traveling, please comment, email, Instagram, or Tweet me! I LOVE hearing from my prettyfitlifers :) .

 

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This became my typical Cali breakfast-- tea, fruit, and peanut butter on a rice cake (best enjoyed on an outdoor patio overlooking the water ;) ).

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Sometimes I'd get a little creative... peanut butter + banana = love. TRUE LOVE.

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A shot from our first vegan lunch stop! We ventured to Veggie Grill-- a vegan/vegetarian-friendly, fast-food-type chain (think Panera). I got some roasted root veggies and a side of sesame kale. The boyfriend ordered fish tacos (see background) and loved them. ee wasn't quite up for a vegan challenge yet! Don't worry...he'll get there!

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The kale needed a little extra somethin' somethin'-- so I asked for a side of creamy ginger-tahini sauce. Perfect.

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YES!!! WE MADE IT TO GLOW BIO! (The amazing organic café/restaurant created by the one and only--my idol-- Kimberly Snyder!). You might just catch one of her celebrity clients hanging around the café or drinking a Glowing Green Smoothie if you're lucky ;) .

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Of course I couldn't decide what to order. Everything looked amazing! Finally, I settled on a veggie and quinoa teff wrap (teff is a supremely healthy, gluten-free grain with amazing health benefits-- it's full of B-vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants). I've been avoiding gluten and heavy carbohydrates for a few weeks now and I feel incredible. Still, I often crave some substantial (yet healthy) carbs and this wrap was JUST what I needed. Oh. And obviously I had to order a "Glowing Green Smoothie" on the side-- even the boyfriend drank some!

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The boyfriend also tested out Kimberly's "Raw, Vegan, Taco, Gorilla Wraps" -- made with walnuts, cumin, coriander, salsa, tamari, chili powder, and collard greens. UM...YUM?? I deemed we were splitting our meals as soon as I had one bite of this incredible creation. The recipe is straight out of her Beauty Detox Foods book and you can bet I'll be replicating it myself!

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After a day of walking around Long Beach later that week, the boyfriend and I needed some quick eats. We found a cozy Lebanese restaurant and ordered some appetizers to nibble on. This spicy hummus was particularly divine.

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I also ordered a side of spicy roasted veggies-- I prefer dipping vegetables in hummus instead of filling up on empty pita bread calories.

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This was by far my favorite visit of the trip! Native Foods Cafe is the premier chef-crafted vegan restaurant in the Cali area. It has attracted praise from publications like VegNews, USA Today and Zagat (among others!). The boyfriend and his dad were kind enough to take me here on my birthday on our last day in California.

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Native Foods Cafe has been around for over 20 years! So cool. They also have an incredible selection of infused waters and iced teas-- I mixed some citrus green tea with watermelon fresca. So tasty!

 

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It was super hot out the day we went to lunch here, so I ordered the Ensalada Azteca Salad-- a cool and refreshing bowl of crunchy veggie goodness. I enjoyed my meal so much I mayyyyy or may not have begged the cashier to open a Native Foods Cafe back in Boston :) . Someday? Please??

 

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Here's a close-up shot of my delicious lunch. The currants and pepitas were an excellent touch!

 

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Here's the boyfriend's amazing looking meal-- he wasn't so amazing upon first glance at the menu however (I could see a small wave of panic hit his face as he scanned through the lunch options). I don't think he quite realized that this was truly a 100% VEGAN restaurant. With words like tofu, seitan, quinoa, and "Native Chicken" in every dish, I had a feeling he was regretting the suggestion. In the end however, he was a true sport and tried something new--tempeh tacos slathered in guacamole, cilantro, fresh veggies, and a creamy chipotle sauce. And you'll NEVER believe what happened...HE LOVED IT! In fact, as soon as we got home to Boston, he ran out to buy all the ingredients and made himself tempeh tacos for dinner 3 days in a row--Vegan. Win.

 

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My boyfriend's Dad is a little more adventurous when it comes to vegan eats (he had been here before). He enjoyed a Greek Gyro Earth Bowl over quinoa and topped it off with peppered seitan, hummus, and a lemon-garlic sauce. Yum!

 

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Okay...so it had to be done. I mean, COME ON! How could I turn down a big ol' bowl of these babies. These sweet potato fries were delectable--a hint of cinnamon really rounded out the overall sweetness of the dish.

 

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Shot of the interior: The café looks simple but don't let that fool you-- the food is anything but.

 

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The Native Foods Cafe is in a unique little location-- it's centered among a little village of shops that pride themselves on offering organic/sustainable items. This little boutique is actually an organic nail salon! I didn't have time to stop for a quick mani, but I'd love to stop by the next time I visit.

 

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This Vietnamese restaurant was right across from Native Foods Cafe. I love the natural look of the patio seating area. When I have a chance to go back to California, I want to test it out for sure.

 

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Right around the corner from Native Foods is a funky looking wine bar and restaurant-- check out those wine bottle chandeliers! Future craft project...?

 

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LOVE this idea! All of the restaurants in this little green community put their menus in their respective mailboxes. No more walking all over creation to find a restaurant that everyone agrees on :) .

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I ADORE this-- a beautiful quote written on store-front stairs across from Native Foods Cafe.

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The sun wasn't cooperating, but I love this wooden sign "road map."

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For dinner every night the boys fired up the grill to cook up some meat and other manly things, but I didn't mind--this meant I had the full reign of the kitchen! My dinners in California tended to be a slightly different version of the same meal in order to keep things quick and easy. I'd start by roasting a big pan of spicy garlic veggies (peppers, onions, mushroom, zucchini, summer squash etc...) drizzled with teriyaki sauce and tossed atop a salad with a dollop of hummus instead of dressing. Add a small scoop of rice on the side and voilà! dinner is complete. For this particular meal I added some low-fat cilantro pesto and sweet and spicy chipotle sauce to the rice (a Whole Foods find!) as well as a couple of slices of avocado to the mix. The pita bread in the front of the picture (also an impromptu Whole Foods buy) was quite a treat-- it was stuffed with lentils and spices and tasted incredible with a dab of the pesto and spicy chipotle sauce on top. Sadly, they don't make it here on the East Coast-- I practically tore apart our Whole Foods trying to find it! :( .

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Another version of my roasted veggie dinner salad-- topped with mango salsa and cashews.

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The lighting is rather harsh here, but this is the typical scene from our nightly patio dinners. Eating outside reminds me of family summers down the Cape...I can't wait for June to get here already!

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Another roasted veggie salad with spicy cilantro rice.

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A close-up of my mango salsa veggie salad.

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If I ever opened up a cupcake store-front, THIS is what I'd imagine it would look like. I mean, how adorable is this place?! The boyfriend and I stumbled upon the bakery (called Casey's Cupcakes) while shopping at Fashion Mall. Obviously I had to take a closer look...;)

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Not vegan, but this cake is so pink and girly I could die.

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CHEAT ALERT!!! Wouldn't you know...a VEGAN cupcake ;) . This is possibly the BEST vegan cupcake I have ever tasted-- and I don't even like chocolate cake! The frosting was absolutely PERFECT (boyfriend agreed). Now, if only I could have smuggled a few more on the plane ride home...

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Here's a shot of the interior. Check out the colorful cupcake display!

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Okay, so I promise I did manage to purchase some non-edible souvenirs to take home from California. I'm a sucker for inspirational quotes and messages, so when I saw this bracelet at an adorable shop called Laurenly Boutique I had to snatch it up. After all, every now and then we should all remind ourselves that we're beautiful-- inside and out :) .

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I also picked up an infinity knuckle ring (all the kids are doing it, right??).

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After a restless night of traveling home from California, my body was craving some healthy post-flying fuel. I made some almond cocoa chia pudding topped with coconut and honey roasted cashews to properly fuel up after a loooong flight and relaxing trip.

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While I’ll gladly eat West Coast food any day, I’m still an East Coast girl at heart. Keep an eye out for a future post where I’ll share some of my favorite vegan hot spots around the Boston area. Who knows where my next adventure will take me… :)

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Healthfully Yours,

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Ashley Michelle

 

 

 


(Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One


Posted by ashleymichelle

It’s MY party…

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And I’ll eat a vegan cupcake if I want to! 

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Last weekend was my (gasp) 27th birthday.

And while the majority of the day was spent returning from a little vaca break in warm and sunny California all the way back home to cold and snowy Boston, that didn’t stop me from indulging in a tasty birthday treat (after all, scientists say dessert is perfectly acceptable on your birthday, right? ;) ). So, as soon as I got home– jet-lagged and all– I made my way to the kitchen and whipped up a sweet and fluffy frosted vanilla cupcake for one. Because, well, why not?!

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Now I’ll admit it– this little birthday splurge was quite a feat for me. I’d spent many birthdays and special occasions passing up cake and ice cream because it wasn’t considered “healthy.” And come to think of it…I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d even had a bite of birthday cake (or at least a bite that didn’t make me feel guilty afterwards). Whenever the occasion arose, I’d find every reason in the book NOT to have a slice of dessert– and then immediately I’d feel selfish, snobby, and rude for not accepting the offer. The celebration was for ME after all…

 

That all changed as soon as I became vegan.

 

Suddenly I am no longer faced with that dreaded “birthday cake pressure”–namely because most people don’t know where to buy vegan desserts, how to make vegan desserts, or they don’t realize tasty vegan desserts exist in the first place. Now, on a day-to-day basis I’m typically 100% fine with this, (I take pride in my health and in what I put in my body), and when I do want dessert, much of the time I’d prefer to make a “healthier” version on my own that keeps me light on my feet as opposed to weighing me down.

From a health and fitness perspective this all sounded pretty great, but this also meant no more birthday cake at all. Right then and there I knew something about this birthday was different.

Seemingly out of the blue, this simple thought made me feel pretty sad. And as much of a health fanatic as I am, I suddenly considered it a crime NOT to have a bite of dessert on my special day. Heck, who says it has to be your birthday to have a tasty treat?? Everything in moderation people! Besides. It’s a crime in itself that I don’t have a vegan vanilla cupcake recipe on this blog yet.

Enter the (Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One.

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With options for a fat-free, low-fat, or full-fat version, this quick and easy cupcake recipe (you only need 20 minutes!) is sure to please your sweet tooth and your conscience. No birthday necessary :) .

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(Healthier!) Birthday Cupcake for One:

 

Ingredients:

  • 3 tablespoons spelt flour (you can also use whole-wheat pastry flour or white flour if you’d like– however the whole-wheat option is preferred :) ).
  • 1/4 teaspoon baking powder
  • slightly under 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 tablespoon Earth Balance buttery spread (for a fat-free option, you can sub  applesauce or mashed banana for butter, but the cupcake will come out a bit chewier without the Earth Balance option and will have a slight banana flavor if you go that route. For a low-fat version you can do half buttery spread, half applesauce or banana).
  • 1/2 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon unsweetened almond milk
  • 2 packets of stevia (use sugar if you prefer– taste test until you are satisfied with the level of sweetness. If you use liquid sweetener, reduce the amount of milk by a teaspoon).
  • 1/2 tablespoon 100% maple syrup (optional but highly recommended)
  • Dash of almond extract (optional)


Directions:

  • Preheat the oven to 340 degrees.
  • Mix all the ingredients together in a small bowl until no clumps remain.
  • Spoon batter into a muffin pan sprayed with all-natural non-stick spray (I like to use coconut oil spray).
  • Cook for 15 minutes (or until the edges begin to brown slightly).
  • Allow your cupcake to cool before you pop it out of the pan and begin frosting (I know, I know. Waiting is the hardest part! I tossed the cupcake in the freezer for a few minutes to speed up the process :) ).
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Frosting Ingredients:

(Please note: This recipe makes much more frosting than you probably need! But I won’t judge you if you use it all on one lonely little cupcake ;) . If you want fat-free frosting, omit the Earth Balance and reduce the milk to 2 teaspoons). 

  • 1/2 cup confectionary sugar
  • Slightly under 3 teaspoons almond milk
  • 1 and 1/2 teaspoon of Earth Balance buttery spread (room temperature– NOT melted)
  • Dash of almond extract (or vanilla if you don’t have almond)
Directions:
  • Mix all the frosting together in a small bowl until smooth and creamy (add more confectionary sugar as needed if you need to thicken it up).
  • Frost and enjoy!
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See? Now you can have your cupcake and eat it too :) .

 

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Healthfully Yours,

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Ashley Michelle

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Back in Action! Rockin’ Your New Year’s Resolutions


Posted by ashleymichelle

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I have three addictions.

 

Shoes.

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Statement necklaces.

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And SMOOTHIES…

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I swear — I’ll never get bored with a single one of them as long as I’m experimenting with the latest trends (YES. Smoothies can be trendy. And NO I will not be giving up any of these three things for a New Year’s resolution. You can’t make me).

 

Shoes and jewelry exciting? Sure! I’d bet most of you are on board with that. But smoothies? You’re probably thinking that they can be pretty boring– but I beg to differ! In fact, this past fall I did a 30-day smoothie challenge and wasn’t bored one bit! It all started when I kept Instagramming pictures of my tasty smoothie concoctions day after day. Finally, a friend asked if I was doing some sort of smoothie challenge. When I told her I wasn’t, she demanded I create  little a project out of this thing in the form of a 30-day challenge. It sounded pretty fun to me so I obliged.

 

Besides.

I never turn down a challenge.

 

For 30 days I had a healthy vegan smoothie for lunch and/or dinner (sometimes breakfast too!) and experimented with different ways to keep them interesting. And you know what? I enjoyed whipping up tasty recipes so much that I extended challenge well beyond the 30 days. You may think I’m crazy, but allow me to let you in on a little secret….

 

If you do something over and over again, it becomes HABIT! (Promise).

 

Eventually that habit will become routine, and routine ultimately shapes your life. Once you truly put your mind to something and get in a groove, it becomes much easier for you to implement change into your daily life. Some people say it takes 21 days to create a new habit, but I don’t exactly believe that’s true (and neither do scientists). The reason? Everyone’s brain is different. For instance, it usually takes me three or four days before I can get into a new routine, but it may take someone else longer– and that’s okay! Change is never easy, but it does get easier over time (you know it’s the truth!).

 

And what better time for change than now?!

Can I get a “Happy New Year?!”

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Credit: brit.co

 

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Now that it’s officially 2014, the resolution season is upon us (over a week upon us at that!)…and you know what that means– everyone and their roommate, sister, brother, mother, boyfriend, uncle (etc…) is promising to exercise more, eat right, start a cleanse, and lose those stubborn pounds. First of all, I applaud you for wanting to take charge of your health– there’s absolutely nothing wrong with resolving to be a healthier, happier, better version of  YOU. However, moderation is key and tackling your resolutions in a healthy, mindful way will make all the difference in the world when it comes to resolution success.

 

While I can’t exactly be there in person cheering you on at the gym, cooking up your dinner, and reminding you to put down the pint of ice cream (I swear I would if I could!), I can help to get you on the right track. I’ll be here posting healthy recipes, ideas, and motivating tips to keep you inspired along the way–feel free to Instagram, tweet, comment, and Facebook me with your progress! I love to hear from my prettyfitlifers :) (P.S. WATCH OUT WORLD! I just got a Ninja blender over the holidays so keep an eye out for all my tips and tricks for building a better smoothie!).

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And don’t worry if you haven’t set any healthy goals yet– you have the ability to start now!  But to get you started off on the right foot, I thought I’d share a few of my tried and true tips for success first:

 

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Ashley’s Tips for Success:

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1.) Be realistic:

That list you made with 20 different resolutions? Guess what. You’re biting off more than you can chew, and that’s a recipe for failure. Try to pick the resolutions that mean the most to you (stick to one to five, although even five is a bit generous) and focus all of your energy there. After all, there’s no need to overwhelm yourself before you’ve even started! Set yourself up for success, and success will be yours. REMEMBER: A New Year’s resolution doesn’t need to start the minute the clock strikes midnight on January 1st. You can start today, or you can start tomorrow or the day after that. JUST REMEMBER– YOU NEED TO START :) .

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2.) Be specific:

Do you want to eat healthier? Do you want a toned, energetic body? Do you want to try a vegetarian/vegan/gluten-free diet? Rather than just saying these things, PLAN out how you are going to accomplish these goals. Your focus should be on making lifestyle changes that you can carry over from year to year rather than starting crazy crash diets and cleanses that will keep you on track for a week only to make you irritable, starving, and ready raid the cabinets for a decent snack. Instead, plan out a specific approach.  For example, start eating healthier by packing a healthy, veggie-filled lunch the night before so you aren’t tempted to hit the vending machines or unhealthy cafeteria food at work. Get a healthy, toned, energized bod by cutting out processed foods and sugar and make a point to sweat it out (almost) every day (yes, walking and yoga can count! Just crank up the intensity ladies). Try a plant-based diet, but taper off slowly. Swap regular milk for almond milk in your oatmeal or smoothies and commit to eating fish/meat only three (mayyybe four) times a week. As you get more comfortable with creating hearty, plant-based recipes, you can reduce meat consumption further (i.e. eat organic meat just 1-2 times per week, cut out cheese and dairy etc…).

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3.) Write it down!

Once you know the direction you’re headed…WRITE IT DOWN! Buy yourself a pretty little notebook and create a contract for yourself based upon the plans you’ve devised above. Use the notebook to keep track of your successes, and yes, even failures. A slip up doesn’t mean you’ve blown the rest of 2014…after all, you have the whole entire year ahead of you to make up for it! Write down the mistake, accept that it happened, and move forward. Having to write down that you didn’t do something is often motivation enough to get you back on track and working even harder than before.

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4.) Hold yourself accountable:

Tell people your plans! I don’t mean you have to broadcast all over Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, but if that’s your thing…go for it. Tell your best friend, your boyfriend, your roommate, you mom and let them know how motivated you are to keep up your healthy New Year’s habits. Have them to check in with you or ask you how it’s going. If those who are close to you know your plans and feel as though they are a part of them, they just might cut you some slack when you ask if you can host a healthy dinner party at your place instead of  heading out for game-day pizza and beer :) .

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5.) Be positive:

I can’t stress this one enough. BE POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE, BE POSITIVE! Change takes time– it isn’t going to happen overnight. But you are going to hit your goals much faster if you are positive during the process. Negative energy is crippling– believe in yourself and have faith. If you want change badly enough, you will get there. You’ve already committed…that’s the hardest part of all. Now sit back and enjoy the ride!

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6.) Reward yourself with love and happy things:

Okay, this sounds a bit fluffier than it really is but hear me out. Changing your lifestyle, being healthy, and keeping New Year’s resolutions are hard! be sure to love and honor yourself throughout the process. Meditate, buy yourself a nice book, take a bubble bath, get a manicure, buy new workout clothes, get a massage, take a nap, bake a healthy treat (don’t reward yourself with naughty food!)….the option is yours! Set some goals for yourself in that little notebook of yours and do something nice for yourself each time you reach one. After all…you deserve it!

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 It also doesn’t hurt to find a little inspiration :)

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Credit: quotesandsayingsblog.com

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Credit: herbalife mom

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Credit: thethingswesay.com

Credit: Pinterest.com

Credit: yourdailyenlightenment.wordpress.com

 

Credit: Pinterest.com

Credit: dailypositivequotes.com

Credit: peachypalate.com

Credit: Pinterest.com

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My new year’s resolution?

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To get back into my blogging schedule! Life got a little hectic these past few months, but I’m back and better than ever before. I can’t wait to share my healthy posts with you all and I can’t thank you enough for all of your loyalty and support– I love each and every one of you to the moon and back. And if I can leave you with just one word of advice as you head off to conquer those resolutions for the rest of 2014, it’s this:

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Stay motivated and you will amaze yourself at what you can do!

 

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Healthfully yours,

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Ashley Michelle xo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Eating Vegan in Spain


Posted by ashleymichelle

“The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.” — Saint Augustine 

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Beach umbrellas in Malaga

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This year has been pretty incredible. I mean–ME–the same girl who was once afraid of planes and never used to take vacations or go anywhere exciting–has been to Italy, Aruba, and now SPAIN all in just nine months. So allow me to let you in on a little secret…

 

I finally caught it.

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My plane to Madrid!

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I’ve got the TRAVEL BUG.

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First and foremost, let me offer my sincerest apologies for being missing in action this summer. Thank you Prettyfitlifers for being so understanding during my brief hiatus. I’m beginning to realize that blogging is pretty darn close to a full-time job, especially as I find myself getting pickier and pickier with the content I aim to feature on my page. I promised myself when I started this blog that I would never put up a post just to put up a post. Everything that I publish is carefully thought out, written, photographed and edited until it’s ready to be put out there for all of you :) . Unfortunately, this means that each post can take quite a bit of time to go live! Writing for Pretty Fit Life is my true passion, however, seeing as I already have a full-time (paying!) job–and a new one at that– when work calls, I must answer :) .

 

And thank goodness I do…or I never would have been given the opportunity to go on this amazing trip to Spain!

 

You see, Spain wasn’t soley for pleasure (though I still enjoyed every second of it). I actually had the opportunity to go on an EF Tour for work. What does that mean exactly? Well, for 11 beautiful days I criss-crossed my way through Spain, hitting Málaga, Granada, Seville, Córdoba, Madrid and Barcelona all along the way. And I wasn’t alone on this action-packed adventure–I was accompanied by a group of middle school students, a handful of teachers, another EF staffer (known as a tour consultant), and one awesomely patient tour guide.

 

Crazy? Probably.

Educational? Absolutely.

Amazing? Yes. DEFINITELY.

 

Unfortunately I didn’t have enough room in my luggage to pack my computer on this little trip–YEP…this girl packed for 11 days and only brought a carry-on. BOO-YA! (Those of you who know me understand that this is an INCREDIBLE feat—I once brought a hairdryer camping for goodness sake). I did, however, have my phone. So even though I couldn’t blog in real-time (as much as I’d hoped I could), I managed to Instagram my way through all six cities.

 

And I don’t think I missed a beat…

I took almost 1,000 photos.

 

Okay, so I was definitely “that tourist” who took pictures of anything and everything (a rock Ashley? Really??). But I was just so memserized by every little piece of this gorgeous country that I wanted to document it all (thankfully, by the end of my trip I had become much more selective with my picture-taking). I’m equally embarrassed to admit that I went to Spain not really knowing much about the country’s incredibly rich history. But all that changed the moment I met Laura–our EF tour guide. This incredible lady knew it all! I would never be able to fit everything I learned into just one blog post (and don’t worry, I won’t turn this into a history lesson) but just so you can see exactly what I was up to while on tour, here’s a little breakdown of my trip day by day:

 

Experience Spain

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Photo Credit:

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Day 1: SPAIN!

Fly overnight to Spain

 

Day 2: Málaga & Granada

Meet my Tour Director and student group at the airport. Relax on the beach in Malaga before traveling to Granada.

 

Day 3: Granada

Take a guided tour of Granada, visit the Alhambra, visit a Moroccan tea house, attend a traditional flamenco show.

 

Day 4: Granada & Seville

Visit an olive oil farm, travel to Seville, take a walking tour of Seville, attend a classical flamenco show.

 

Day 5: Seville

Take a guided tour of Seville, visit the Seville Alcázar, visit the Seville Cathedral, visit the Seville Bullring, enjoy free time in Seville, take a salsa dance lesson, take a boat cruise along the river at night.

 

Day 6: Córdoba & Madrid

Travel to Córdoba, visit the Mezquita, continue on to Madrid, try vegetable paella.

 

Day 7: Madrid

Take a guided tour of Madrid, visit the Royal Palace, take a walking tour of Madrid, visit the Prado Museum.

 

Day 8: Madrid

Visit a local school, visit Dali exhibit, enjoy free time (aka shopping + sangria :) ).

 

Day 9: Madrid & Barcelona

Experience an AVE train to Barcelona, take a guided tour of Barcelona, visit Parque Güell, take a bike tour around Barcelona.

 

Day 10: Barcelona

Take a walking tour of Barcelona, hit the beach and explore the city on my own.

 

Day 11: USA

Depart for home :(

 

Yep. Our days were pretty jam-packed. And thanks to our knowledgeable tour director, they were pretty awesome too. Laura guided us through each day in each city perfectly. She also guided us through breakfast, lunch, dinner and every meal in between–YES–she even managed to help little old vegan me not go hungry. In fact, Laura made me feel like quite the VIP, calling restaurants ahead of time and speaking to the chef to ask (en espanol of course) whether or not certain meals were made with (or could be made without) dairy, eggs, beef stock, chicken, fish (etc…). Now, I successfully ate my way all through Italy as a vegan, so I figured Spain would be pretty similar. And while Italian food is still my favorite (helloooo can you say soy gelato??) Spain proved to be a pretty manageable place to maintain a plant-based diet– it just meant getting a little creative every now and then.

 

The fantastic thing about Spain and Italy is that they rarely use butter in their cooking (unlike traditional American fare). Instead, olive oil is the product of choice– this makes perfect sense given the fact that these two countries are the leading olive oil producers in the world (Spain accounts for 43.8% of the world’s production while Italy accounts for 21.5%). This took a lot of the guess work out of ordering food since I wasn’t left wondering whether or not butter was used to cook my veggies, rice (etc…).  And even better? Where there’s olive oil, there are bound to be plenty of olives!

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"Aceitunas" (olives) + sangria = the perfect afternoon snack :)

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And olive trees…

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Unripe olives on an olive tree in Seville

 

And hanging out near those olive trees also happen to be plenty of orange trees (just my luck! :) ).

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In addition to olive oil, did you know that Spain is one of the world’s foremost exporters of oranges?  Orange are everywhere (especially in Seville). I was amazed by the amount of fruit dotting the public trees.  One afternoon after lunch I reached up and plucked a big, juicy orange from one of the many trees lining a busy street in Seville but our tour director quickly shooed my hand away and informed me that the fruit was not for eating. Turns out there was a reason why all of those oranges were still sitting pretty in their branches. You see, in Spain there are three main types of oranges– sweet oranges (Valencia oranges), blood oranges, and sour oranges (Seville oranges). Turns out all of those oranges I saw in the trees were the sour oranges, and they were still up there because they’re too bitter to eat as a piece of fresh fruit alone. Instead, sour oranges are used to make marmalade, liqueurs, spices, and teas. I actually had the opportunity to try some fresh marmalade at a Spanish olive oil farm and it was pretty tasty– much more bitter than the sugary stuff we have here, but yummy nonetheless.

 

I also had the opportunity to taste test some of the farm’s fresh olive oil and learn some fun facts about the oil. For instance, olive oil should always be stored in a dark container because the light can putrify it (so all that olive oil in clear glass bottles? Don’t buy it!). We also learned all about olive oil production (it’s quite tedious, so I won’t get into it right now but feel free to read all about it here!)  Instead, let’s focus on the important stuff…

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Olive oil tasting in Seville

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Like sangria…

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And “cerveza” (beer)…

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And “alimentos” (food)…

 

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And more sangria…;)

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(Okay. So clearly you now know my weakness…)

But naughty drinks aside…let’s talk about the food! Since this trip was essentially an all-incusive tour, most of the meals were already planned out. This meant that we had set menus at area restaurants or ate set meals at the hotel restaurants. Now, I’ll be quite honest and admit that not every meal was a hit on this trip– for the first couple of nights at our hotel in Granada I was served a plate of soggy and bland canned green beans, artichokes, carrots, cauliflower, and white asparagus (not exactly the tastiest meal in the world)– but thankfully the food situation got much better, especially when we went out to eat.

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A disappointing meal...

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An amazingggg meal! :)

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I already mentioned that the Spanish love their olive oil, so no need to worry too much about butter– but the Spanish also love their pork…which meant I had to be extra careful about asking for things  ”sin carne” (without meat) when it came to ordering food. Thankfully the most popular type of Spanish cuisine — tapas– provided me with plenty of veggie options to choose from.

 

Tapas are a variety of small appetizer plates (both hot and cold) and snacks that can be shared with friends or combined to create a full meal. This was perfect for me because all I had to do was order a few veggie plates and I’d have a complete dinner. Plus, I loved being able to sample and taste a few different things rather than order just one main course off the menu.

 

Some of my favorite things to order were “pimientos de padrón” (small, sweet, green peppers roasted in olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt), “aceitunas” (olives), “verduras asadas” (roasted vegetables), “espinacas con garbanzos” (spinach, olive oil, garlic, and garbanzo beans), “humus” (hummus), “champiñones salteados” (mushrooms sauteed in olive oil and white wine), and “pan con tomate” (bread topped with tomato, olive oil, and garlic).

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Roasted pimientos

 

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A bowl of olives is a tapas staple!

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Roasted veggies never get old. I could eat them every day.

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Looks terrible...tastes delicious! You've gotta trust me on this one...

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Hummus is yummy in any country :)

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Bad lighting, good mushrooms!

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"Pan con Tomate" is the perfect snack after a day of touring

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Soup, better knows as “sopa” in Spain, is another typical menu item I was thankful for. Almost every restaurant has some sort of veggie-based soup to choose from which made eating out much easier for me. The most common soup I came across in every city was gazpacho. To my surprise, however, traditional gazpacho soup is not the same kind of gazpacho we have here in the United States. Spanish gazpacho is a cold, tomato-based soup made by blending tomatoes, soaked bread, cucumbers, garlic, olive oil, vinegar, and salt in a food processor until silky smooth. The first time I saw the soup, I was convinced there had to be dairy in it because it seemed to have a creamy consistency. Nonetheless, the waiter assured me gazpacho is dairy-free and the smoothness comes from blending the oil and bread (I Googled the recipe later and confirmed the waiter’s explanation was the truth :) ).

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Silky smooth gazpacho

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Oh…and did I mention it tastes amazing??

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Another popular soup on many menus is “sopa de lentejas,” or lentil soup. I  would order this option over gazpacho when I felt I needed to get an extra dose of protein in my veggie-heavy diet.

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Hearty but healthy lentil soup

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As popular as tapas are in Spain, this wasn’t my only option for every single meal. I was actually able to enjoy a few well-rounded vegan dinners here and there as well. Couscous, lentils, grilled veggies, salad, and the popular Spanish rice dish known as “paella” were all fair game. I even found a couple vegan restaurants– one in Madrid and one in Barcelona. Sadly, the Madrid restaurant was closed when I finally had a moment to slip away and venture out on my own, but I was able to test out the vegan restaurant in Barcelona :) (pictures below!).

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Couscous mushrooms blood orange salad

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Marinated veggie taster plate-- Spain goes "simple vegan" :)

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Saffron gives this vegetable paella a beautiful golden hue

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Simple salad with white asparagus-- I found this to be a salad staple in Spain

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Roasted peppers, peas, asparagus, tomato, and rice plate-- drizzled in olive oil and sprinkled in sea salt...perfection!

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More roasted veggies...

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Pecan couscous with curried carrots and eggplant

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This meal was SO good...I asked for it again! Peas, tomatoes, rice, peppers, lettuce (with less olive oil this time). Simple!

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Pineapple carpaccio for dessert-- looks unimpressive...tasted INCREDIBLE!

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Assorted melon for dessert. The yellow melon is a Spanish melon and is quite possibly the most sweet and tasty melon I've ever had!

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Even a tea girl like me had to have some Spanish coffee...or "espreso" in this case :) .

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Believe it or not, aside from enjoying amazing vegan Spanish food, I also enjoyed some amazing places!  So, I wanted to leave you with some fun photos in addition to food photos that I snapped over the course of my trip. Enjoy!

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Famous Flamenco show in Granada-- the studio is built into a cave in a mountain!

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Yes, even in Spain I found my bubbly water :)

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Rioja-- a delicous Spanish wine and newfound love

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Street in Cordoba

I found my knight in shining armor in Spain!

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A beautiful sunny day in Barcelona (plus my attempt at an artistic "selfie"...)

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More dried fruit

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On a boat cruise in Seville

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Fountain in Barcelona

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The 1992 Olympics Barcelona Fish sculpture

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The Sagrada Família in Barcelona

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Enjoying sangria in Madrid :)

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A view from my morning run in Granada

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Ceiling decor in Barcelona

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Gorgeous flowers in a Seville garden

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Original Roman bridge to Cordoba

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Bullring in Seville

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Flamenco cave in Granada

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The Barcelona shoreline

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Overlooking Barclona

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Fancy Spanish melon

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Flamenco dancer in Granada

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Biking in Barcelona

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Church tower in Cordoba

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A little friend I made during my morning run in Madrid :)

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At the Park Güell in Barcelona

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Park Güell in Barcelona

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Even the doors are pretty in Spain

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The streets of Malaga

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Beach in Malaga

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Plaza de España in Seville

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Mezquita-- the Mosque-Cathedral in Cordoba

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Enjoying the marina in Barcelona

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Driving between cities we saw lots and lots of sunflower fields. Absolutely gorgeous!

Olive trees at an olive oil farm

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Entrance to Alcazar-- Seville Palace

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Cake from a (wait for it!) VEGAN restaurant in Barcelona!

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Veggie and bean burgers also from the little vegan restaurant in Barcelona

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Fancy ceiling lamps in Granada

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Striking a pose in Barcelona

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Not all those who wander are lost.” — J.R.R. Tolkien

 

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Fabulously Yours,

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Ashley Michelle

 

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Sources:

Olive Oil Production

Experience Spain EF Tour 


Running: The Heart & “Sole” of it


Posted by ashleymichelle

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“If you run, you are a runner. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far. It doesn’t matter if today is your first day or if you’ve been running for twenty years. There is no test to pass, no license to earn, no membership card to get. You just run.”– John Bingham

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Did you know that June 5th was National Running Day? I know that was a few days ago, but after social media started blowing up with everyone’s updates, tweets, and images from their “National Running Day runs,” it got me thinking about what it means to be a runner. So, in honor of this day, I too decided to take a break from blogging and devote some extra time to the road.

 

As I laced up my sneakers, powered up my iPod, and headed out to run my favorite 6-mile loop around the Charles River… I paused. Given the fact that it was National Running Day, it only seemed appropriate to use this run as a time to reflect upon what running really means to me—after all…I wasn’t always a runner. So I shut off my iPod and hit the streets in silence– ready to breathe in the warm spring air and stay in the present– a far cry from my usual plugged-in, zoned-out, training-driven runs.

 

Then, I did what I do best.

I ran.

 

With nothing to distract me– aside from the occasional biker or a small family of geese crossing my path– I had plenty of time to get lost in my thoughts and reflect. Around mile three, I was feeling pretty amazing– light, yet powerful on my feet– breathing hard,  yet slow and steady. With the warm sun on my face and the salty breeze in my hair I almost forgot I was in the middle of the city.

 

It was then that I started thinking about why I run in the first place. I began to think about how grateful I am that I even can run. I thought about the Boston Marathon and I thought about my first 5K….

 

Clearly running goes much deeper than a pair of snazzy sneakers, some fancy leggings, and a Lululemon zip-up. It’s something you grow to love deep down in your soul–and it’s a relationship you must nurture if you want it to love you back.

 

In fact, come to think of it… running has been one of  the longest relationships I’ve ever had. Growing up I was always a very active child. I spent my time running around and playing outside with the neighbors, taking multiple dance classes a week, and participating in organized sports, however, I didn’t get my first real taste of running until back in middle school when my Dad convinced me to join the cross-country team. I was a tiny little thing, so I guess running looked like it should come naturally, and, well, I suppose it did–in fact, I was quite good! I entered a few local races and  actually placed…or sometimes WON. Once I started a little collection of those gold, plastic trophies and race teeshirts…I was hooked. I was officially a runner. And that’s when I began to truly understand what it meant to be a part of the running community.

 

Running isn’t just a hobby–

It’s a character-defining sport.

 

I know this may sound far-fetched to some, but I truly believe I became the person I am today because of running—namely because of  my amazing track and cross-country coach, Mr. Estey, and my inspiring track and cross-country teammates who quickly became like a second family to me. From the very beginning I understood that running takes discipline, commitment, patience and perseverance– these traits have shaped my entire life and defined me as a person to this very day.

 

How so? Well, first of all I learned very quickly that when it comes to running, (or getting anything I want in life), no one will ever be able to put in the work for me. When you race or when you run, your soul is right out there for all to see—plain and simple. There’s no hiding on a race course or on a track, there’s no hanging out on the sidelines, there’s no passing the ball to someone else to take the pressure off your back, and there are definitely no timeouts.When you run, you’re showing the world what you’re capable of and just how badly you want it.

 

Talk about sheer pressure.

Not to mention sheer glory when you succeed. 

 

But just like any other relationship…my running relationship has certainly had it’s fair share of ups and downs. As I got a little older and headed off to high school, I (naturally) wondered what else was out there. I flirted with the idea of trying out a different sport in the past, but never made any moves…until I finally fell under the spell of something else–something that looked more attractive, more fun and more popular: cheerleading (much to my father’s dismay). I swooned over the adorable uniforms and the fleeting promise of teenage stardom, much like a 14-year-old girl crushes on the “bad boy” in school. Thankfully this was just a stint of adolescent rebellion, and soon enough I ran back into the comfortable arms (and ratty old sneakers) of my first love– running.

 

Over the next few years, running and I endured a lot together. We won some races, lost some races, set PRs, and suffered through shin splints, blisters, exhaustion, foot injuries, and a terrible bout of mono. I cried, I celebrated, and I cried some more over the stress and emotions that came along with running–yet we still worked through the hard times and pushed on. I trained well, qualified for a few State Championships, and ultimately became Captain of my high school cross-country team in my senior year. Then, like most high school relationships, we took a break when I went to college. I became too busy with classes, and studying, and meeting new friends. I traded my long, relaxing runs for fast-paced, interval-driven gym sessions. Staying fit wasn’t a fun hobby anymore–I worked out to forget about a stressful day and because I was petrified of the dreaded “freshman 15″ associated with the first year of dorm-living.

 

And then I got sick.

And for the first time ever I couldn’t run.

 

When I was sick I was put on 100% exercise restriction. For two years I wasn’t allowed to exercise at all…even walking up a flight of stairs or across campus (when I was well enough to return to school) was considered a workout. I was miserable. For someone as active of as me, it felt like a death sentence (as pathetic as it sounds). Eventually I recovered and became healthy enough to run again, but my body had become incredibly weak and sore and stiff and tired easily from all that time off. I could finally get back to my normal routine and yet for the first time ever I didn’t want to run– it had come naturally to me for so long, and now I could barely run a mile without my legs screaming in agony. I needed to rebuild my muscle from scratch in order to gain strength and flexibility– basically, I had to retrain my body all over again. So, I hit the gym instead.

 

The frustration with my body continued–this time because it just couldn’t do the things it used to. Gradually, I (sadly) started to lose that spark inside of me– the one that once defined me as a runner. Even though I slowly grew stronger over time (the resilience of the human body truly is amazing), running just wasn’t the same. The only time I would go out for a run was when I couldn’t get to the gym or when I was away for the weekend and needed to get in a workout. Essentially I only ran when I had to. I stopped timing myself and tracking my mileage on these runs– out of fear I wouldn’t live up to my own high standards. When I graduated college and moved to Boston, I immediately joined an expensive gym, created a vigorous workout schedule, and stuck to it. It was easier to take these classes, go on those machines, and work out for this long rather than be alone with my body and mind on the road. I was still afraid I wouldn’t be good enough for me– or for the runner I used to be.

 

But then something started happening at work…

 

As soon as the warm weather arrived, I noticed that more and more people were going out for a run during their lunch break or at the end of the work day– and for good reason. When it comes to running in the city, you can’t find a better location than my office. As I mentioned in a previous post, my company is located on the border of Cambridge and Boston right along the beautiful Charles River. This river route gives runners the option of running a 2-mile, 4-mile, 6-mile, or 8-mile loop– perfect for runners at any level. And that was just the beauty of it– whether someone was training for a marathon or starting to run for the first time,  people of all levels were hitting the road and giving it their best shot… and they were loving it.

 

Every time I saw an employee come back from a run, I couldn’t help but notice how happy and refreshed they looked. I mean, what better way to relieve stress while also energizing the body and mind? Science has already proven that exercise can do just this. According to the Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, exercise releases chemicals (endorphins) that make you feel happy while also releasing chemicals that suppress stress and anxiety inducing hormones (adrenalin and cortisol).  Similar findings published in these two articles found in the Journal of Occupational and Environmental Medicine  have also discovered that exercising during the work day improves mood, health, and overall productivity (additional evidence was also presented at an annual meeting of the  American College of Sports Medicine).

 

Okay, so I’m sure most people know all this information already– exercise = a happy and healthy you!  However, doing the same old exercises every day can get pretty darn stale and take some of the fun, relaxing benefits of working out away. I was starting to feel pretty burned out from my gym-centered workout routines, and I knew I needed to do something else that exercised my mind as well as my body (yes, I know yoga is SO beneficial for the body and mind but I still haven’t warmed up to the idea of it yet– maybe that will be my next mission ;) baby steps, right?). For me, running was that “something” that used to do just this. Way back when–on the days when I wasn’t working on pacing or racing– it wasn’t rare for me to go out for a run with no idea where I was headed. I liked to call these “fun runs”– just enjoying everything around me and letting curiosity lead the way.

 

Finally.

I was ready to try it again.

 

So with nothing to lose, I laced up my sneakers, put the watch away, and decided to go for a nice, easy run along the river– enjoying the views until I felt like turning around. I wasn’t going to worry about pace, or mileage, or the number of calories burned. I was going to run to escape the world (if only for a few minutes) and to appreciate my body for all that it can do. And you know what happened when I put all the negative thoughts about being good enough aside?

 

I ran like the wind.

 

That’s right. I still had it in me after all :) . A year later, I’m still running whenever I get a chance (I’ve even entered a few races!). Yes, I still hit the gym on most days, but when I need a different type of workout– one for the heart and the sole (like what I did there? I know, I’m good ;) ), I lace up my running shoes and hit the road. And while I’m out there I make sure to thank the Universe for giving me strong and healthy legs that carry me through strenuous workouts–even though they never seem to get the breaks that they deserve. I thank them for putting up with the 5:00 AM workouts and the late night workouts when I know they’d much rather be resting in bed than hitting the gym or hitting the road. But most of all, I thank them for never giving up on me, and never letting me forget that once a runner…always a runner.

 

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“Believe that you can run farther or faster. Believe that you’re young enough, old enough, strong enough, and so on to accomplish everything you want to do. Don’t let worn-out beliefs stop you from moving beyond yourself.” – John Bingham 

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Healthfully Yours,

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Ashley Michelle

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Sources: 

Exercising at Work

10 Reasons Play Can Make You Healthy and More Productive

Exercise May Make You a Better Worker

Does Exercise Make You Happy?

 

 

 

 


Blissful Blueberry-Baked Oatmeal


Posted by ashleymichelle

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“Have blueberries whenever you are low – destiny will change and you will be high.” – Adam Voichester

 

Last weekend was pretty yucky. Sure the weather was gorgeous and the sun was shining…but I still (somehow) managed to contract a nasty virus and a case of bronchitis that left me feeling the sickest I’ve felt in years. (Yes, only I would somehow find a way to become bedridden with a fever during the first official weekend of summer weather in Boston!).

 

So, while everyone else was hanging out at the beach sunbathing, day-drinking, and barbequing…I was curled up on the couch with the shades drawn, covered in cough drop wrappers, and drugged up on prescription cold medicine (Note: I typically avoid unnecessary medications at all costs, but at the rate that things were going, I was happy to get my hands on anything that would knock me out and allow me to sleep– even if only for a minute).

 

Between crying to my Mom (okay, I may be 26, but I KNOW I’m not the only one who still wants their Mom when they’re sick!) and forcing myself to sip on coconut water and miso soup… I couldn’t even bear to think about food… or recipes…or blogging. And you know something is seriously wrong when Ashley doesn’t want to blog!

 

Thankfully, I had my appetite back by Monday….

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And an extra dose of creativity to boot!

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My body was craving something hearty and wholesome yet light enough so that it wouldn’t be difficult to digest. After all, I needed something substantial to help me regain some strength and power me through the work day.

Oh, and if this meal could also be ridiculously easy to throw together,well, that’d be just peachy :)

 

The deliciously easy answer?

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BAKED Oatmeal.

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Baked oatmeal is a slightly denser and (in my opinion) a much cozier take on your typical oatmeal or overnight oats. Baking the oatmeal allows you to cut it into squares and serve it on a plate–or perhaps eat it straight from the baking dish itself with nothing but a fork and a smile on your face! (I won’t  judge you because I may or may not have done this myself…)

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And we can’t forget the best part of all…

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It’s healthy too ;)

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I’m talking LOW-FAT, GLUTEN-FREE, HIGH-FIBER, & LOW-SUGAR GOOEY PERFECTION.

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Plus…blueberries are just bursting with beauty-boosting antioxidants :)

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Perfect for rainy days, lazy mornings, or when hosting a healthy weekend brunch– I promise this dish will quickly become a breakfast favorite.

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Blissful Blueberry-Baked Oatmeal

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Dry Ingredients:

  • 3/4 cup whole grain oats
  • Slightly over 1/4 cup blended oats (just toss oats in a blender until it turns into flour, or use store-bought oat flour if you’d like).
  • 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon (or nutmeg, pumpkin pie spice, apple pie spice…)
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • Dash of salt
  • Optional: granola (I used this for topping), shredded coconut (I sprinkled this on my oatmeal before baking), chocolate chips (toss a few in the mixture if you want to make naughty oatmeal ;) ).

Wet Ingredients:

  • 1 1/4 cup almond milk (I like using unsweetened vanilla)
  • 2 tablespoons 100% pure maple syrup (or honey if not a strict vegan–molasses might also be an interesting choice! While I don’t use agave, that would also work. And if you are looking to keep it sugar-free, you could also sub in stevia to taste–just increase milk by 2 tablespoons).
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Heaping 1/2 cup of blueberries PLUS a few extra for topping (I used fresh blueberries, but frozen could also work. Don’t love blueberries? No worries! Sub in chopped apple, sliced banana, or your preferred berry of choice).
  • Optional: A tiny dash of almond extract (I just ADORE the sweet and nutty hint of flavor almond extract gives oatmeal, cookies, cakes, smoothies…anything really :) ).

Directions:

  • Pre-heat the oven to 350º.
  • Mix all the dry ingredients together in a bowl and set aside.

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  • Mix all the wet ingredients together and add to the dry ingredients. Mix well and stir in blueberries.

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  • Add in any fun extras (chocolate chips, coconut, etc…).
  • Pour oatmeal mixture into a pan or a dish (I used a brownie baking dish) and bake for 45 to 50 minutes (or until edges and top begin to lightly brown). It should look slightly underdone.

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  • Top with a drizzle of maple syrup, a handful of granola, extra blueberries, or whatever you’d like.
  •  Dig in and ENJOY!

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Just be warned…

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You may never want plain old oatmeal ever again!

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Healthfully Yours,

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Ashley Michelle

 

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